teaching lying

teaching lying

Sometimes the words that come from my children truly convict me in my parenting. Recently has been no different, but it has been a particular something… more than just random willfulness or selfishness.

The other day 2 of my girls were playing nicely, politely… and then I heard one utter something like: “but do you PROMISE” to do or not do such/such…

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I took this opportunity to instruct, though I am not sure how much stuck. 🙂

What are we teaching our children when they have to ‘promise’ in order for another to believe what they have said to be true?

We are teaching them to lie.

Sadly, but plainly and simply, we are telling them that you do not have to speak the truth unless you make it a promise!

We are taught in Scripture: …but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation. James 5:12

Indeed, this phrase is prefaced by a plea to NOT swear/promise by anything. Then it states that our word should simply be kept, thus reliable.

I do not make it a habit of asking my children to “promise” to do anything… but they have frequently asked me to promise that what I tell them is true. I try to make sure they realize that if what I am telling them were not true… it makes my words lies.

I rarely promise them anything.

I either speak truth, or I speak a lie.

We must instruct our children to only speak truth.

If it is unkind, then it is best left unsaid, something we are still learning/teaching! 🙂

But if someone is asking them to promise, they need to know how to let them know that “you do not practice lying to your friends, but you will not promise.”

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There are several ways our Lord speaks of lying, but mostly it is called lying, deceitful or false lips or speaking falsely.

And here are some verses to help our children and us understand how God views lying:

Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing [lies]: the LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man. Psalm 5:6

Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me: he that walketh in a perfect way, he shall serve me. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight. Psalm 101:6,7

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. Proverbs 6:16-19 [mentioned twice in this list!]

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. Proverbs 12:22

God does not want us to speak  lies!

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And some verses to help our children understand how God views truth:

LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. Psalm 15:1,2

 The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Proverbs 12:19

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. Proverbs 12:22

For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. I Peter 3:10

These are just a few thoughts I’ve had recently when teaching my own precious babes on the importance of speaking truthfully!

We are ALL a work in progress 🙂 I would encourage you to study it out a bit on your own, as there are a myriad of other verses in which we are told how much God hates lying and loves the truth!

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Blessings!

 

 

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{7} help of the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is imparted to you when you place your trust in Jesus Christ. The ministry of the Holy Spirit is to give you daily guidance and counsel–in other words, to help you walk in the ways of the Lord and to make wise choices as various situations and circumstances arise.


Ask for the help of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis. Ask Him to guard you from evil and to guide you into righteousness. Give Him charge over your agenda, your schedule, and your daily appointments. Trust Him to bring you to persons in need so that you might minister to them, and to bring to you the help you need in the form that is best for you to receive it.


I close this series of articles on Being Emotionally Whole by saying with both forthrightness and love that I’ve never known anyone who was emotionally defeated who was filled with the Spirit of God. This seems to be the vital key to emotional victory.


Speaking to a large audience, D.L. Moody help up a glass and asked, “How can I get the air out of this glass?” One man shouted, “Suck it out with a pump!” Moody replied, “That would create a vacuum and shatter the glass.” After numerous other suggestions, Moody smiled, picked up a pitcher of water and filled the glass. “there,” he said,” all the air is now removed.” He then went on to explain that victory in the Christian life is not accomplished by “sucking out a sin here and there,” but by being filled with the Holy Spirit.


May God grant you victory in your life over the emotions which may bind you!


~used by permission

{6} let past failures go

There is an old saying that goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” I have another version of that saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, you’ve now discovered that you are average.” We will all fail on occasions, but how are we to handle failure?


A part of receiving God’s forgiveness is forgiving yourself. Once God has forgiven you, you have no claim to your past sins, failures, or weaknesses. You are a new creature in Christ Jesus!


Each time you dwell on your past failures and errors, you are closing, to a certain degree, your heart and mind to the current and furture blessing that God has for you. Force yourself to think instead of the many ways God has helped you and blessed you. Anytime you find yourself reflecting on past failures, remind yourself that God has delivered you from sin. You have been saved by Christ Jesus. You are forgiven!


Then turn your mind to the positive things that God has done for you, in you, and through you. Start praising Him for His goodness rather than dwelling on the past. 


Theodore Roosevelt said, “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” Edison spent more than $100,000 to obtain 6,000 different fiber speicments, and only three of them proved satisfactory. Each failure brought him that much closer to the solution to his problem. His friend Henry Ford was right when he said that failure was the “opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” Learn from your failures, but don’t dwell on them!


Helpful Scriptures: Psalm 97:9-12 & Lamentations 3:40-41

 

~used by permission

{5} give yourself to others

Too much introspection into your problems and weaknesses can cause you to become ingrown. Have you ever had an ingrown toenail? Then you know how just  a small ingrown element of your physical body can cause pain. This same principle applies to your spiritual and emotional lives. you can turn inward and over time cause great damage to yourself, all in the name of trying to know yourself or fix your problems.


The best cure for many emotional difficulties is to turn outward to others and start giving of yourself to others. you may say, “But I don’t have anything to give.” Every person has something to give, even it it’s only a smile, a kinds word, or a pat on the shoulder in a time of need. Sometimes just your presence can be a gift to someone, especially to someone who is lonely, grieving, or suffering with a long-standing illness.


The happiest people I know are those who have wide-open hearts and who give generously to others. Such individuals are totally secure in God’s love.


Give without any expectation of receiving from the person to whom you give. God will see your heart and what you do and reward you accordingly. Trust Him to take care of you. 


By giving freely and generously, you open up yourself. This open stance before God and other people is important to emotional heath. It is only as you open yourself that you learn to trust. and being able to trust is viral to you ability to received Gods’ forgiveness and healing, and to believe that God will supply your needs. 


Others, Lord; yes, other: let this my motto be. Help me to live for others that I may live like Thee.


Helpful Scripture: Psalm 77 & Acts 3:6-10

 

written by Dr. Mike Rouse

used by permission

{4} stop trying to negotiate with God

Maybe you have an approach to God that can be stated like this: “If I just work hard enough and do enough good in my life, God will approve of me.” You are attempting to negotiate good works for God’s acceptance. 

God accepts you! But you are having trouble accepting God’s love.

 

You may have difficulty accepting the mercy of God because you have never fully received God’s love. Or you may be so accustomed to the give-and-take, buy-and-sell nature of our culture that you assume you can deal with God the same way: “You do this for me, and I’ll do this for you.” God does not operate according to that human principle.


God’s principle is one of total acceptance of you when you ask for His forgiveness and seek to do His will. If He desires to change something in your life -always for your good and for your eventual blessing- His chastisement is patient and kind (never beyond your ability to bear). and His love is constant (never withheld or removed). You cannot negotiate your way around God’s will. Stop trying. 


What should be your approach instead of negotiating?


–Trust God. Ask Him for what you desire, and then trust Him to answer your prayer according to His wisdom and infinite provision. 


We base so much of our acceptance on the world’s standards rather than God’s grace. 


In 1900, the Daughters of the American Revolution [DAR] elected social reformer Jane Addams to honorary membership. But Addams’ antiwar stance during World War I and her insistence that even subversives had a right to trial by due process caused them to expel her. She commented that she had thought her election to the DAR was for life, but now knew it was for good behavior.


Aren’t you glad that God does not operate that way? Ephesians 1:6-7 says, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he had made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.


I encourage you to put these verse to memory. I would also encourage you to read Zechariah 3:1-4, and always understand our acceptance from God is not based on what works we do but the work done by Jesus on Calvary.

written by Dr. Mike Rouse

used by permission

{3} healing for your faults

ALL people have something about themselves – their personalities, their backgrounds, their abilities – that they do not like. Everyone has a tendency to concentrate more on the flaws and points of weakness than on the strengths.

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Some things in life are givens. For example, you cannot change the family into which you were born, the nation in which you were born, your race, your physical stature and basic genetic code and so forth.  Certain physical weaknesses or disabilities cannot be changed. When you face these unchangeable things about yourself, you are wise to accept the way God made you. To do anything else is counterproductive. You need to assume God had a plan and purpose for every detail of your creation.

Some things in life are givens because of the state of the world in which you live. For example, you may not be able to do anything to alter the fact that your parents are divorced or that your children are divorced. But you can pray that the Lord will bring healing in you and your loved ones. 

In yet another area, elements of your personality can be changed. For example, you may think that you are jealous by nature. Let me assure you, envy is an acquired trait. You can ask the Lord to heal you of your jealousy and to help you to trust Him and, in your trust of Him, to trust others.

 How do you become healed?

–First, you identify the character or personality trait tha you know is displeasing to the Lord and ask Him to forgive you for allowing this trait to develop.

 –Second, you ask Him to heal you of this tendency.

 –Third, you give Him permission to do whatever He needs to do in your life to make you whole.

 –Fourth, accept with your faith that God is at work in your life and taht He will make you whole in His timing and according to His methods. 

God is merciful. He forgives. He heals. He enters with His divine presence any area of your life that you open up to Him.

I would encourage you to read I Thessalonians 5:23,24 and Jeremiah 18:3-6. 

 

written by Dr. Mike Rouse

used by permission

{2} saturate yourself with God’s Word

KEY 2:

Saturate yourself with God’s Word

When you are forgiven, you have a clean slate before God. But it is not enough to have a clean slate. You need to ask the Lord to write His Truth on the slate of your heart. You need to have God’s Goodness instilled in you.

 You acquire God’s Truth about virtually every situation by reading His Word. You need to saturate yourself with God’s opinion, and in the area of emotional health, that means saturating yourself with God’s opinion about you.

 In the Scriptures you discover that you are: 

–a child of God [Galations 3:26-27; I John 5:1,2]

 –accepted totally and completely by God [Acts 10:34,35; Ephesians 1:3,6]

–an heir of the Father through Christ Jesus [Galatians 3:29; Titus 3:7]

Many other descriptions of God’s people appear in the Scriptures. you may want to start a list or circle them as you read your Bible daily. If you are born again into Christ Jesus, all of these descriptions about the children of God apply to you. Take them as part of your profile.

The great preacher Alexander White, when he was too old to mount the pulpit, would rise every morning to prepare a sermon, even though he never preached them. He did so until the day he died. He was convinced that study of the Word was essential to saving himself- not eternal salvation but the saving of one’s emotional well-being [I Timothy 4:16].

Key Two to being emotionally whole is 

saturate yourself with God’s Word.

 

written by Dr. Mike Rouse

used by permission

My Pastor writes a short article for our Sunday bulletin every week [and has for many years]. Currently, he is writing a series on Being Emotionally Whole, and I wanted to share it with you during the next few weeks. My posting these articles is not my Pastor’s endorsement of my blog. All  opinions and thoughts expressed on this blog [unless otherwise noted, as here] are purely my own and not specifically affiliated with my church.

{1} give your heart to Christ

{key 1} give your heart to Christ

Spiritual redemption is the first key toward developing a correct self-image. People who do not know Jesus as Savior may claim that they think healthy thoughts about themselves, but most unbelievers I know who state that they are self-sufficient in themselves and do not need Christ are miserable people in crises. They are like beautiful flowering weeds with no strong root system.

These people have only themselves upon which to rely for strength, energy, enthusiasm, creativity, and new methods. Eventually, they get to the end of themselves. They do not have the Holy Spirit residing in them to transform their lives in Christ in a way that is based on truth and is comforting even in times of chastisement.

Having a relationship with Christ Jesus resolves many issues that undermine emotional wholeness: 

–feeling guilty. Guilt is created when you have unforgiven sin. When you ask for God’s forgiveness, you are forgiven. Guilt is washed away. 

–feeling unloved. When you turn to Christ, you realize that God loves you and desires to have an eternal relationship with you!

–having a spirit of revenge. Once you have accepted God’s free gift of salvation, you are no longer in a position to  justify why God should not forgive others who are also sinners in need of a Savior. What God has done for you, He desires to do for all men and woman, regardless of their past. 

 –striving to earn favor with God. God’s gift of salvation is free. You cannot earn it, buy it or achieved it through good works. You do not deserve it. When you truly are born anew spiritually, you will realize that any favor you have with God is on the basis of what Christ has done, is doing, and will do in your and through you.

If you truly want to be emotionally whole, you must first give your life to Christ.

originally written by Dr. Mike Rouse, used by permission, edited

Spiritual redemption is the first key toward developing a correct self-image. People who do not know Jesus as Savior may claim that they think healthy thoughts about themselves, but most unbelievers I know who state that they are self-sufficient in themselves and do not need Christ are miserable people in crises. They are like beautiful flowering weeds with no strong root system.

These people have only themselves upon which to rely for strength, energy, enthusiasm, creativity, and new methods. Eventually, they get to the end of themselves. They do not have the Holy Spirit residing in them to transform their lives in Christ in a way that is based on truth and is comforting even in times of chastisement.

Having a relationship with Christ Jesus resolves many issues that undermine emotional wholeness: 

–feeling guilty. Guilt is created when you have unforgiven sin. When you ask for God’s forgiveness, you are forgiven. Guilt is washed away. 

–feeling unloved. When you turn to Christ, you realize that God loves you and desires to have an eternal relationship with you!

–having a spirit of revenge. Once you have accepted God’s free gift of salvation, you are no longer in a position to  justify why God should not forgive others who are also sinners in need of a Savior. What God has done for you, He desires to do for all men and woman, regardless of their past. 

 –striving to earn favor with God. God’s gift of salvation is free. You cannot earn it, buy it or achieved it through good works. You do not deserve it. When you truly are born anew spiritually, you will realize that any favor you have with God is on the basis of what Christ has done, is doing, and will do in your and through you.

If you truly want to be emotionally whole, you must first give your life to Christ.

originally written by Dr. Mike Rouse, used by permission, edited

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