being-a-wife | Designing 31

my split personality: called {motherhood}

This is not exactly a “spiritually or Biblically-inspired” post.

It is more a “I wonder if anyone else has ever thought about it this way” post.

And it’s been sitting in my “draft” folder for a while now…

I had a conversation with a sweet new friend last night that prompted me to truly articulate this thought I’ve had for a while now:

Somedays, I truly feel as though motherhood may have given me a split personality {and I am not trying to belittle those with actual mental disabilities here!}.

I realize my children need ME.

But they need ME differently among them. They are each so individual and unique. Yes, I must be consistent in rules and discipline; but things they need, things they forget and need me to remind them of, things they have not yet learned, are ALL different for each one.

My poor oldest child, she is nearly a young woman, and yet I continue to remind her of things that, really, only her younger sisters need help with. I know that frustrates her. She’s so grown up and the others are still “babes”.

My middle daughter has some food and environmental allergies that sometimes means our whole family just misses out on stuff like… peanut-butter pie… because I just can’t chance it being around and her wanting a taste or being sad that she can’t have it. And she’s trying to grow up as quickly as her big sister, but she really isn’t there yet.

My third… a whirlwind of a girl. She plunges head-long into EVERYTHING she does. She has gusto! 🙂 And thinks very little, if ever, before acting. But her little heart is so tender and pliable, I must be restrained when calling a warning at her to not sit on her brother, or some other situation that could cause harm to one or multiple people. lol. She will just loose it, and the whole situation will disintegrate before our eyes.

My youngest is a boy. After 3 girls we have a boy. ‘Nuff said.

To those with more children, I am not trying to ‘prove’ my life is as hard or harder than yours… just stating some observations. 🙂

And then, my husband needs a WIFE, not a mother {he already has an awesome mother!}. And apart from “child of God”-which is my identity at its core- this is where I find my primary role in life – to be the best wife for him. If I’m an awesome mom and a lousy wife, I’ve not become what God created me to be!

And I do have a few friends… who like to speak to me as adult in my own right, not as a mother or a wife….

And so, maybe this is a little bit to be encouraging spiritually

… I need God! You need God! 🙂

If God does not help us in relating to all the most important people in our lives, we are a people most undone!

If I cannot be Christlike to my own family, how can I expect those outside my family to see Christ in me?

I’m not saying I loose it every day, but there is at least a portion of most days where I struggle really hard not to! And there have even been a few hours all strung together that I feel I {MIGHT} have it all together–HAHAHAHA. nope. not really!

And only bending my knee before His throne will help me be “ME”–a child of God–to those around me, whether I feel SPLIT or not. 🙂

happy 0123 {oops 2013}

by tascha

source

I pray everyone rang in the new year safely and surrounded by loved ones!

{The actual ringing in found me sound asleep, but safe, and in my home with loved ones!}

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The New Year here marks the official dropping of my old blog and writing exclusively for this new address.

{{wooo-hoooo!!}

I must admit, I still wish I had the time and mental acuity to type a post every day. I truly admire those who do it. But, that will not be happening any time soon!

.

As the old year came to a close, I began pondering just what DID I want to accomplish this next year {now THIS year!}.

And I came to the conclusion that I was not going to make any “year resolutions.”

I have read much in the past 2-3 days of why to or why not to make “New Year’s Resolutions.”

But my own adventure towards what I desire from this year came when I realized… that truly,

every day is a fresh beginning.

newyear2 Of course, a new year is a BIG new beginning; but if I confine myself to only beginning anew at the beginning of the year, I will continue to fail-by today–the second day of the new year!

Because I’m human. I have many excuses in my repertoire… and I am a firm believer in: life is what happens after you make plans!

So, my “New Year’s Resolution” is to not have a YEAR’s resolution!

But to treat each day as a new beginning.

To approach the morning as a time of goal setting.

To approach the evening as a time of pondering.

To live intentionally and on purpose.

Instead of only making lists of what I want to accomplish [in vague general terms] on December 31 that would supposedly encompass an entire year, I will make lists multiple times a week-or however often I can remember!

And then accomplish tasks.

And complete goals.

And grow as a Christian-

in being a wife, mom, friend, sister and daughter.

A quote that struck me a couple of month ago {and I do not know the true origin as I found it on Pinterest} was:

The only person you should try to be better than is

the person you were yesterday.

linked to: FarAboveRubies

she needed to change [pt2]

by tascha | 2 comments

she needed to change [pt2]

{If you missed the first part yesterday, please read it first!}

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We turned several corners during our first years of being married, but there was sometimes a bit of animosity between us. Our problem, unbeknownst to either of us, was that we had yet to become ONE.

We each were doing our best in the marriage, but it was still each of us trying to be what we thought we ought to be.

untitled shoot-294

Several years ago, all of this changed. To me there was no defining moment, but God really began to work on MY heart.

Much of this previous time I would dwell on the other half of the equation, when the real problem was staring at me in the mirror.

God spoke to me saying, “John, quit looking at your wife and all of her flaws, cuz you my son, are NOT all of that either.”

The problem was, I was dwelling on my wife and what SHE needed to change and not on me, myself, and I. WOW!!

It was NOT my wife that was the problem, but my own pride that was the problem.

Thus began the journey of just allowing God to change MY life so I could become what He wanted me to be.

After all, God knows exactly what my wife needs in and from me, and if I allow God to change me, then I am becoming not only what God wants and needs me to be, but what my wife wants and needs me to be as well.

As my wife often says to me, “You are not perfect, John, but you are perfect FOR ME.”

I love my wife for feeling that way about me. She is my gift from God. Amen!

marriage.success

{And that, my friends, is how BOTH of us have changed. We have tried to stop focusing on each others’ short-comings and asked the Lord to just mold us to be what we are supposed to be… when we are both doing that, the marriage relationship thrives in ways we simple did not understand before!In no way have we “arrived,” but we truly do have a wonderful relationship, can talk about anything, and enjoy each others’ company more than any one else’s.}