by tascha
Several verses in Proverbs speak of how living in the wilderness or on a rooftop is preferable to living with a contentious or brawling woman… reminded me of a post towards the beginning of the {31 days}.
Just as there is something for me to learn from the “strange woman” there is something I can learn from this woman of contention. And it came up again in today’s chapter.
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. -Proverbs 25:24
and was there a few days ago:
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. -Proverbs 21:19
Contentious people basically look for things to argue about. They are characterized by an argumentative spirit, often creating controversy for the sake of being right. I think I’ve done that before.
Brawling gives the idea of noisy, squabbling, fighting people. I know I’ve squabbled once or twice… Angry… I suppose that doesn’t need an explanation.
And I have a responsibility to teach my own girls [and now a boy, too!] how to allow the Lord to control their spirit and NOT be contentious or brawling or angry! Even as children.
2014
I suppose my best defense against being a woman of contention is to study the Scriptures and find out how to …let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. – I Peter 3:4
Because, while the context of that verse is a Christian woman’s ability to have a powerful witness to an unsaved husband, the principle can hold true for a Christian woman to have a powerful testimony for the worth of her saved husband to her… as well as a witness of God’s place in her life to an unsaved world.
The hidden man… a meek and quiet spirit is an ornament… of great price to God!
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by tascha
Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off. Proverbs 27:10 {edited-from 26:10-I turned to the next chapter too soon. oops}
I used to read this verse as a teenager and then young adult and think…. Why aren’t people more “neighborly” now-days?
There were one or two houses on my street where we knew the people on a “HI, how are you?” basis… and even now, in my neighborhood, we only casually speak to our neighbors. We try to be friendly and have invited them to church and inquired about their salvation, but we have no one we would turn to in a calamity.
And I suppose this verse could be talking about our making friends of those who live near us {we certainly need to make an effort to be kind and get to know those who live around us}; but people just live such separate lives anymore, are often not even home until late in the evening, and don’t really want to go to church on Sundays.
Even when cute little kids invite them.
Then a few years after I had gotten married, journeyed to a strange city, moved into a new house, joined a new church and started to make a life… with this man for-ever-after, I realized it could be talking about something a little differently.
Our life revolves around our church and the activities of it. And I now live very far from any family… even from the church where I grew up.
I cannot go to my brother’s house or any of my family’s houses {even if I wanted to} without nearly a whole day’s travel or more!
My own friend, my neighbor that is near, even my father’s friend {kindred spirits through loving and serving the same God} is my church family.
The Lord has truly blessed our little family with {-[neighbors]-} through the wonderful people who faithfully attend our church. They have encouraged us and been there for us during the years we have been here. A few have become very dear to us, as family.
My heart had a rocky start with being far away from family and the people I knew so well from childhood. I have come to realize I do not handle change well without much help from the Lord.
But now, over 9 year later, I have come to the point where I could not imagine being in any other “family.” They are my neighbor that is near…
That is indeed a blessing!
EDIT: This is a difficult post for me to revisit, as we have since [and not long after this], moved to another church family, in rather sudden & unexpected circumstances… BUT, I am thankful that it has not taken nearly a decade to feel completely loved and welcomed into this new family where God sent us.
Not even 2 years later, we feel knit with a people who have welcomed us with more enthusiasm and grace than I have ever experienced anywhere. And I love them for it!
And the Lord has also given us “family” around the world in the form of friends who have traveled to spread the gospel in other countries…
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Let’s connect on FACEBOOK!
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I’m also on Instagram!
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by tascha
DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions that my children are perfect. Their teachers tell me when they have done wrong to prove it! …and we have correction discussions multiple times daily. It takes W.O.R.K. And I do realize their ARE children who require extra effort… and I have no idea how I would handle them, except that God promises to give us grace for our own trials and not another’s. And those few times I have received praises… they often come back to haunt me when we have shameful days. I fail everyday. I correct in haste with an unkind voice more often than I would care to admit. I do not train when I should {because it takes T.I.M.E.}. But every time, I know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who is ready to hold my hand and walk me through it… one-more-time. over-and-over-again. daily.
From Proverbs 29
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [verse 15]
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. [verse 17]
Several times through the book of Proverbs, child correcting and training and the rod are mentioned. And it is spoken of twice in this one chapter!
{While I do believe there is a right and a wrong way to physically punish a child, that is not the point today!}
The fact that I must give correction… I must reprove [tell them they are wrong] and train [show/tell them how to be right] my children…
that is the point.
And these two verses give the basic reasons why:
Children will not learn wisdom [how to think and act with discretion, in a way pleasing to the Lord] without correction and discipline and training. And often punishment is involved [the rod].
Reproof and correction are not punishment… just a ‘time out’ or spanking or whatever method is employed for punishing wrong- that is not training.
Punishment alone is not the answer, but it is a vital part.
we must walk this path of life WITH them
As parents, we must take the time- and as a mother I have much more opportunity to do this than my husband… and often fall very short- to speak with and train our children- a kind, loving voice instructing our children what is right, how toys are to be put away, how siblings are to be treated, etc.
Truly, as in verse 15, when we leave untrained, uncorrected children all alone… the mothers are shamed– often to the point of reprimanding in anger [BEEN THERE!].
But when loving reproof and training have been employed by {preferably} both mother and father… those children will give rest to whomever is in charge of them, with just a soft word of correction.
They will be a delight unto their parent’s souls.
Others can tell when a child has had loving correction and consistent discipline [both the rod and the training, hand in hand]… because they will make comments like: “oh, your children are so well-behaved” {to which I try to reply: “They are God’s gift to me!”}…
or “how do you make them all behave?” {to which I just smile {and try not to crack up laughing}! most people do not really want to know that sometimes crying is involved…}
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Let’s connect on FACEBOOK!
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I’m also on Instagram!
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and I’m on Twitter!
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by tpiatt
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Proverbs 31: 26
Again we are looking at heart issues.
This is also literally about how she has learned to communicate with those around her.
This becoming like the Proverbs 31 woman includes more than just our chores and financial transactions. It encompasses even our speech.
Wisdom. How do I have wisdom come out of my mouth? It must be in my heart:
Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her. She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee.
I must listen to the commandments of God. I must take heed to the counsel of those I know study and obey Scripture. Wisdom is THE PRINCIPAL THING.
In Job we read: With the ancient is wisdom; and in length of days understanding. With him is wisdom and strength, he hath counsel and understanding. It goes on to describe things only God can do… We can have wisdom from time with God. Ancient and length of days seems to imply MUCH time is needed. But what if we are young? …new wives and mothers without much experience? This is when we seek the counsel of aged women….
In Titus 2 we read: The aged women likewise… teachers of good things… That they may teach the young women…
The likewise refers to the description of Godly men in the previous verse. I encourage you to read and study that out!
The Law of Kindness: Kindness is defined as goodness and mercy.
My tongue should speak goodness and mercy. As I typed that, Psalm 23 jumped into my head: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life… This comes at the end of proclaiming God to be my leader, my strength, my courage, my comfort. Then goodness and mercy will be with me, and I CAN speak them.
I am encouraged by this thought… speaking wisdom and kindness comes from time with God and those who’ve known Him longer than us. And it is a LEARNED behavior, not an innate quality. We can ALL learn, but we must be open to the change in our heart.