is my help destructive?

As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children, from all evil and harm; and that is part of a parent’s responsibility.

But another part is to teach and train. And this is where the protection instinct needs to step aside at times [oh, how hard that is!].

When our children are very small, we [parents] are pretty much the only ones who correct and discipline our children– teaching manners, kindness, and self-control, with love and patience [sometimes begging God for that proper spirit].C.mommy

But when my children are older and leave me every day to attend school or go to an age-appropriate Sunday school or even just go to a friends house for an afternoon, what do I teach them about authority? about responsibility? about respect?

It mostly stems from how I react to others correcting my child–{it also is learned by how I respect/obey my own authority-but that’s another post}.

I must realize that my child is a sinner [aren’t we all? Romans 3:23] and he/she WILL do wrong, and need correction– at school or a friend’s house, even in children’s church.

image from google seasrch

image from google seasrch

And in order to teach them respect for authority, I must be willing to allow other people to have authority over and correct my child. And I, as the parent, must also be willing to enforce their obedience to that other authority. Otherwise I will be teaching my child that I, the parent, can take their responsibility of obedience on my own shoulders; and one day she would have a very rude awakening.

Galatians 6:7,8- Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. [We will all reap the consequences from our OWN actions, and we must TEACH this truth to our children.]

If I do not teach the reality of consequences—

Romans 4:11,12- As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

[We are each responsible for our own actions.]

and

I Peter 4: 3-5- For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:  wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead.

image from google sesarch

[There will be those who do not understand when we choose to live differently, but God will judge.]

—then, when our children are all grown up, they will likely continue to expect Dad and Mom to bail them out when they have done wrong, and may live as though you can bail them out in heaven, too.

And here is the point:

There comes a time [earlier than you might expect and years before they become a teenager!] when I cannot and should not protect my children from themselves, and the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn responsibility and integrity.

Deliverance ….before a lesson is learned

is DESTRUCTIVE.

and I do not want to destroy the most precious gifts God has given me!

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answering {simple} questions .3

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  
can you truly answer a child’s questions regarding salvation. 
Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.
6. How does being saved take your sins away? 
and
 7. Can a person be saved without asking Jesus?
I’m taking notes, Momma!
{I have not personally ever heard small children ask these questions, and some of these thoughts may be a little hard for very small children to understand, but I pray this can be a launching point for your own study into how to answer your own sweet babies.}

When you understand that you have sin in your heart and believe what the Bible says about why we have to be saved to live with God in heaven and you make the choice to ask Jesus to save you , then Jesus takes away your sin. He does that by being a substitute. When you do wrong, you have to be punished. But if someone else takes your punishment [maybe a friend gets a spanking or put in time-out FOR you], that is a SUBSTITUTE. that friend takes your wrong as his own responsibility,  and that is what Jesus did for us! When He came to live on earth as a baby and then grew up without ever sinning and then died on the cross, He became our SUBSTITUTE. Because he was not guilty of any sin, as we are, God allowed Him to take our punishment. He took the responsibility for our sins.

The Bible tells us very plainly that no one can enter heaven without accepting Jesus’ SUBSTITUTION. In John 14:6, Jesus said: No man cometh unto the Father [lives with Him in heaven] but by me [trusting Jesus]. And in Acts 4:12, the Bible tells us this about Jesus: Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name [JESUS] under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. We cannot be good enough or go to a certain church or be baptized to help us get to heaven. Jesus is the only path that leads to living with God in heaven forever.
Some Scripture Reading:
I Corinthians 15:3,4
II Corinthians 5:17-21
Galatians 4:3-7
Ephesians 2:4-9
Titus 2:11-14
{There are many more Scripture passages that deal with all of these salvation questions, and only individual Bible study can help you find them all. I have only tried to include a few passages to help you get started.}


preserve. guide. bless.

treePsalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.

Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Proverbs 20:7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Apparently, integrity is something that can guide us. can preserve us. can bless our children. It is on the same level as uprightness– better than having riches.

I want integrity.

I want my children to have integrity!!

integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction; internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data

When most of us think of integrity in people, we probably are thinking of the first part of the definition: being honest and having strong moral principles.

Are we honest? Obviously, we should not speak our whole mind about others or to others [Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.].

But sometimes we are not even honest with ourselves. We say we do not care what others think, but we do; AND we SHOULD. We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.

To care about what others think does not mean I will compromise the cause of Christ–and my children need to understand that, too.

I must not brush aside when others correct my children or make known a fault {no matter if it is done rudely or tastefully}. 

I must teach my children how to handle correction- with humility and honesty.

But also, we must deal honestly with others.girlsbridge

Speak honestly.

Pay attention that we do not take advantage of others’ generosity.

And keep watch that our children learn this.

Even further, are we honest with God? in our opportunities to witness, with using the talents He has given us, in our giving. Only an individual can examine his own heart, but we must also remember that others see our actions.

[We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.]

Beyond being honest, do we have a Biblical sense of morality? I stress Biblical because today’s morality is changed from the morality my parents grew up with. We cannot flow with society in this.

Do I teach my children what the Bible says about right and wrong? Do I teach them consequences? If not, they will have a rude awakening one day. Do I give them an example of truthfulness and responsibility?

Simple ethics and expectations of good behavior, a Biblical sense of justice and modest propriety seem to be a thing of by-gone days.

But as mothers, we can help CHANGE that!

     by TEACHING our children to have integrity.

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answering {simple} questions .2

answering {simple} questions .2

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  
can you truly answer a child’s questions regarding salvation. 
Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

 

3. Why does a person need to be saved?
4. What is sin?
and
5. How old does a person have to be to get saved?
How can I understand, Mom?
The Bible tells us that every person has sin in his heart. We also learn from studying God’s Word that God cannot have sin in heaven, and if we keep sin in our heart He cannot hear our prayers [except for the prayer of salvation] or allow us into Heaven to be with Him.  We have to ask Jesus to wash away the sin in our heart to have God take us to heaven.
Simply put, sin is breaking God’s Law. Another simple explanation of sin is “anything that I may think, say, or do that does not please God.” some examples are: lying, hitting, disobeying, thinking mean thoughts. {Be specific when dealing with your own children. Give examples of things you know they have done that are sin.}
If you know the difference between right and wrong and you understand that there are consequences to doing wrong, then you are old enough to be saved. There is no specific age that God says, “You cannot be saved before you are xxx years old.” But neither is there an age that God says, “All people are old enough after they are xxx years old.”  {If your child is asking these questions, it is possible that they are indeed ready to make the decision to ask Jesus to save them. But this is an area where parents must ask God for wisdom in guiding each individual child.}

some Scripture reading: [again] John 3; 14:6; 
Romans 3:23; 5:6-21

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answering {simple} questions .1

answering {simple} questions .1

I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  
can you truly answer a child’s questions regarding salvation. 
Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.
1. What does it mean to be “saved”?
and
2. How does Jesus come into our hearts?

 

These answers will be written the way that I would address a small child [under age 5]. Children can understand so much, but we must also be aware of just how literal they are!
because one day they will need to know how to hold God’s hand!

 

“Saved” means that you have asked Jesus to come into your heart and wash away the sin. [This does not mean that another person is going to come into your body. It is not something we can see.] This is also called being “born again.”
This also means that you have Everlasting Life. which means that when you die you will go to heaven to live with God. Those who understand this and choose not to “get saved” will not go to heaven but hell when they die-living an eternal death.
Jesus will only save you or come into your heart if you ask Him to. He then becomes a part of your life and He can help you in your mind to choose to do right instead of wrong. He can help you think good thoughts and be nice to others. He can help you be strong enough to help others {such as a younger brother or sister} choose to do right, too.
some Scripture reading: John 3:1-21 [especially: 16,17] 
and Acts 2:21 & 10:13; 16:30-33.

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{teaching} with evidence

When children see evidence of God’s importance in Daddy’s and Mommy’s lives  and are trained to also be involved, it becomes a part of their lives. 
There is a marked difference in the attitudes of children towards authority between those who are taught that God is Important and those who are left to figure things out on their own [Proverbs 28:26; 29:15]. 

Children must be continually exposed to God and His Word and His Love and commands in order for them to become a part of their lives. 
If God is important to us as parents it will be evident to our children when they are in Sunday School every week and when we read the Bible [even just a verse and explain it] with them each day and when we pray for the difficulties we face and when we praise Him for all things. It will be evident when we participate in the ministries of our church or go out of our way to be helpful to those in need.

Children with parents who are passionate about “being green” learn how to recycle and repurpose, because their parents DO it. Those whose parents are avid about “organic food” will learn about the nutritional value of different foods and the negative effects of pesticides and processing, etc because their parents are DOing something. Those who are fervent in their quest of an organized home & life teach their children the importance of everything having its own home and putting it there by always having them put things away as well as DOing it themselves.

In the same manner, parents who are are dedicated lovers of God WILL teach their children who God is. We will prove that He is our Creator and that He is to be revered and praised and worshiped and served with our whole life. with our actions.

{teaching} God is

{teaching} God is

Before our children can know to ask us about salvation we must teach them about God.

C

the little man

All men are born with the knowledge of God written in their heart [Proverbs 14:1, Romans 2:14-16].

But this does not mean our children will automatically know God.

Man is born a sinner. Even as a babe, we are all sinners. If you have children, you cannot dispute this fact. A child left to himself brings shame on his mother [Proverbs 29:15] …don’t ask me how I know this!

Since the same heart that knows God also contains sin, the knowledge of God must be cultivated to become knowing God.

People do not know who He is without being taught. Yes, if a lost man seeks for God, God will not hide himself [Jeremiah 29:13].

But we must teach our children who God is.

And we must teach our children to KNOW God- and the earlier the better.

In the first hours and days of each of our children’s lives they had several people telling them them “Jesus loves you” often … through words, song and even action. These people included us as parents, our parents,. and church members who visited.

My children are greatly blessed.

Of course, my babies had no idea what we were saying; but as they grow and learn from Bible stories and Sunday school and family devotions that Jesus is God and God made us and loves us and wants to be our Heavenly Father, a sense of God is All-Important is instilled in their hearts. And this is fundamental to their ability to realize their need of a Savior at an early age.

When children are taught this, it is fact in their hearts [Proverbs 22:6].

And if the knowledge that Jesus loves them and He is ALL-Important becomes as integrated into their being as the fact that Daddy and Mommy loves them, the root of faith takes hold.

….even while still a baby.

girlsbridge

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some {simple} questions

1. What does it mean to be saved?

2. How does Jesus come into our hearts?

3. Why does a person need to be saved?

4. How old does a person need to be to be saved?

5. How does being saved take your sins away?

one prayer is for them to always be able to hold each others hands…

6. Can a person be saved without asking Jesus to come into their heart?

Have you ever wondered any of these questions when thinking of and praying for your children? Have your children ever asked you something along these lines?
Teaching children spiritual truths is a daunting challenge. It causes my very being to go weak with the awesomeness of the responsibility. that God gave to ME and MY HUSBAND [and YOU and YOUR HUSBAND].

this one reminds me that one day they will not have my hand…
and I need to be sure they know how to hold His!

The next few weeks Tips for Training Children will take on a spiritual note. We will start at the beginning [and see God] and then look at these questions in the light of the Word of God. If we cannot answer or teach our children from the Bible, the foundation of their faith will not be true and accurate and will one day crumble.

until Thursday…