reaching {not waiting}… for the needy {11}

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Proverbs 31:20

During this time of year [as I am writing this it is near the Christmas and the Thanksgiving holidys in America], people are often more thoughtful of giving to charity and helping those in need.

But as Christians, especially ladies striving to BE the woman God created us to be, we need to be mindful of those in need more regularly. {BUT, in this day of deceit and danger, we must also beg God for discretion in this.}

 As usual, this begins with the heart issue. Just giving some money to a charity or groceries to a food bank is not what this verse is talking about, though it could be included.

Our hearts must be turned and softened by His hand in our lives for us to have a SPIRIT of GIVING in our daily LIFE. Not just during a season of the year when ‘everyone’ is doing it. And the poor and needy does not only mean those without material possessions or food and shelter.

 Do I have a SPIRIT of GIVING when I am at home with my children? towards my husband? Just this past Saturday my husband and I were computer chatting with each other [I know that sounds odd when we are in the same house, but occasionally it is easier to communicate that way with 3 talking little-people and a baby to keep OUT of the conversation].

so, back to the story. While we were chatting, my husband asked me to get him some more coffee. I am at the back of the house and he is in the room right next to the kitchen. But I was WILLING to get up and do it for him. [that is not always the case, but it should be].

To be fair, my husband quickly wrote back that he was joking and was perfectly capable of getting his own coffee, though he was appreciative of my spirit.

Do I have a SPIRIT of GIVING when I am out driving, shopping, LIVING? Am I in such a rush to do MY thing that I get frustrated with others on the road. Or am I able to see that others out there are in need of kindness-such as letting someone cross traffic in front of you because you notice there is no one coming the other direction and yet there is  along line of traffic behind you [obviously not in some situations].

When I’m shopping, do I let it bother me when in a crowd with others shoving and being rude? Or do I ask God to help me be sweet and smiling and GIVING?

 These are just a few examples of reaching our hand to the needy and stretching our hands to the poor– beyond giving money to charity and groceries to a food bank.

 Let us allow a SPIRIT of GIVING to permeate our lives from the One Who Gave All.

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clothed with scarlet {12}

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

Proverbs 31:21

This “standard of womanhood” we see here was prepared for  the coming season- a good thing to be thinking about now with winter coming to the northern hemisphere [where I live & as I type this]. There have been times when we were not prepared, as a family, for a sudden cold snap or **snow**.

We live in a southern area of the United States and snow is NOT the norm. It really is foolish to spend a lot of money on snow suits and boots and such, BUT I still need to be sure my babies have warm coats and sweaters; and if it comes down to being out in the freezing for longer than a few minutes, layering is handy.

My girls DO have gloves and scarves [lovingly crocheted by my mother] and stockings and socks, and I leave a  fleece blanket in the car for those early morning school rides for my oldest [now all the girls] to use until the car heats up.

We get out the blankets right about now [November] and in December I will pull the flannel sheets out for our bed.

But this verse alludes to much more than physical preparation.

While looking up different words used in the verse I can across the last one: scarlet. Does her household all wear red? maybe.

But I read this about where the scarlet dye came from 

When the female of the scarlet worm species was ready to give birth to her young, she would attach her body to the trunk of a tree, fixing herself so firmly and permanently that she would never leave again. The eggs deposited beneath her body were thus protected until the larvae were hatched and able to enter their own life cycle.

As the mother died, the crimson fluid stained her body and the surrounding wood. From the dead bodies of such female scarlet worms, the commercial scarlet dyes of antiquity were extracted.

WOW. Do I so completely protect my family? not only from the seasons of the year but during the seasons of life?

Yes, our children need to learn to face and deal with their problems with Christ’s guidance in their own lives; but as mothers we do have a responsibility to protect, nurture and train our children until such time as God directs us to push them out to use their own wings.

May we seek God’s face and follow our husband’s leadership in keeping our children protected from the snow [harshness, but not hardships-they are for teaching] of this world while continually teaching God’s goodness and strength for such time as they will face it without us, but always with God’s shelter, over them directly. p31seriespost

a beautiful tapestry {13}

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 

Proverbs 31:22

Let us be encouraged today!

To decorate our homes and adorn our bedrooms and wear the clothing that makes us FEEL {and look} beautiful!

This is the way of the virtuous woman!

Coverings of tapestry are said to be either [or both] beautiful and ornate bedcovers OR carpets for visitors to rest on when visiting her home. Both are encouraging!

We can [and indeed, NEED] to take the time to make our bedrooms a place of beauty and rest, and teach and allow our children to do the same.

We also need to have a space prepared for being a gracious hostess. This is NOT to say that we must have an immaculate living room or spotless kitchen at all hours of the day. That would require living in a vacuum, and this is not what the Lord wants from His children!.

We also have the freedom {but how often do we embrace it?} to DRESS BEAUTIFULLY– each day.

pink tip rose

Obviously, I will not be pulling out my Sunday best  to wear when scrubbing the kitchen floor. But, [and I am totally pointing my whole hand of fingers at myself!] why can I not wear something pretty, or at the very least, attractive instead of frumpy, every day?

Even the unsaved understand the correlation between how we are dressed and our productivity.

I have several aprons. They aid wonderfully in keeping my clothing from being terribly soiled during the day, when I remember to wear them.

I think that we can all see the heart issue coming here.

Do we see the testimony that shows when we NEVER have anyone come visit? when we never INVITE.

This is something that has been weighing on my own heart recently.

I have come to realize that, truly, most other women DO NOT CARE if they come into my home and have to step over some toys– or see a little dust.

We live here.

Even another family is not going to mind too much. Most people just want to know that someone cares about them and their precious people.

My caring heart can be evident when I invite others over-especially other moms with small children!

What am I telling my husband when I regularly meet him in the worst clothing I own when he comes home each evening?

He should be right there under my Lord; and yet, instead of reaching for that clothing that is just under my church best, I reach for the bottom of the barrel.

My heart of love can SHINE out in my wardrobe selection.

**[As a side note: I do have a few pieces of clothing that I keep for the really nasty, dirty stuff [and some of them are actually nice tops that have been stained a little too much through forgetting my apron or carrying a baby around] but I try to be sure I KEEP them for the dirty jobs. Otherwise, I have tried to do a purging of those frumpy, “ugly-feeling” things [they make me feel ugly].

When I do purchase something new I ask myself first-do I really need it? and then: do I REALLY like it more than what is already in my wardrobe? and if I do like it better than something nice I already have, it gets bumped to everyday-nice WITH AN APRON!

The point being, I try to always have nice clothing [that I know my husband likes!] that I CAN pull out every day.]**

Lord, help me keep a beautiful heart that wants to shine out!

and bless my family and those I invite to share my home.

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respect earned {14}

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 31:23

This man who is the husband of our Virtuous Example was known in the gates. He sat with [possibly was an associate of] the elders. They knew him. He had influence- respect in society.

I do not believe that this little slice of information was arbitrarily placed in Proverbs 31.

This lady’s virtuous efforts were not lost to those around her. The community noticed. Other woman spoke highly of her to their own husbands [perhaps even the elders’ wives].

Though she did not strive to bring attention to herself, perhaps even the men noticed her when she was in the market– her kindness, generosity, gentleness, neatness, helpfulness. They knew that the man married to her had to be at least as good.

Her virtue brought him respect.

If you see a lady who is truly a lady, do you not have at least a measure of respect for her husband simply because of her virtue? I do.

blue morning glory

So, I am encouraged to realize that, though it is not voiced to me frequently, I can know that others do [indeed!] observe how I live, train my children, dress my family, treat other people, how willing I am to help, how helpful my children are, how respectful I am towards my husband -as well as general authority.

But this encouragement also challenges me! –to truly strive to live a virtuous life. If I hear a compliment about my husband, I can know that my life had some small part of that. If others can know and speak well of my husband, then at least part of my assignment as a woman is on the right track! and I can be reminded to pray and beg a merciful God for His hand to produce virtue in my life.

Does this encourage you? I have nothing to boast of, but knowing that certain people think highly of my husband does bring a measure of fulfillment to what can become the mundane, and also gives a resolve to my spirit to seek Him every day-– to plead with the Holy God to live through me even more fully.

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linen & girdles {15}

She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Proverbs 31:24

She understands a trade. She knows an area of business and takes advantage of the market, thus earning some income. This has been talked about earlier in the chapter also.

She knows that her merchandise is good. This woman has worked in the night hours to furnish product to the merchants. She has remained a light to her family during the dark times [possibly of financial struggle].

250px-HandkerchiefShe is not afraid to lay hold on work. She has learned to give to the needy. She has proven to have a mind to reason out business.

While she could have {and so can we} become involved in a myriad of business opportunities: soap-making, farming, animals, child-care, artist, etc… she did become involved in clothing and material construction {as well as a little farming}. We see here that she made fine linen. She constructed girdles to sell.

I find it encouraging to notice that, while it does say she was not idle and looked well to the ways of her household [further on], it does not say that there were never days of disorder or frustration.

I am positive she had days of being tired. She WAS human. But she also relied on God for strength {she feared the Lord in verse 30}.

[I do understand that this woman is simply the advice of a mother to her son on looking for a wife, but I think the fact this type of lady’s description made it into Scripture means this type of life is more than just a lofty aspiration.]

Life is messy. Husbands are not always agreeable {and neither are we!}. Children are often chaos waiting to explode. She took care of her family and home to the best of her ability. And she learned a trade. Incidentally, she learned a trade that benefited her family [growing fruit and constructing clothing]!

These things did not happen in a day. Neither did they happen in one year. This chapter is the culmination of her life. It does not say she bought land every year or even planted vineyards every year. It does not say she made linen every season her whole life. These are simply things she did-at some point in her life.

And while I am busy these precious, few, fleeting years training my children to be good and how to do household chores with me, I can be learning and preparing for a time when they will not require my full-undivided-attention-every-waking-moment. It will come. I think the fact that the only time this lady’s children are mentioned is when they rise up to call her blessed attests to that.

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