is my help destructive?

As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children, from all evil and harm; and that is part of a parent’s responsibility.

But another part is to teach and train. And this is where the protection instinct needs to step aside at times [oh, how hard that is!].

When our children are very small, we [parents] are pretty much the only ones who correct and discipline our children– teaching manners, kindness, and self-control, with love and patience [sometimes begging God for that proper spirit].C.mommy

But when my children are older and leave me every day to attend school or go to an age-appropriate Sunday school or even just go to a friends house for an afternoon, what do I teach them about authority? about responsibility? about respect?

It mostly stems from how I react to others correcting my child–{it also is learned by how I respect/obey my own authority-but that’s another post}.

I must realize that my child is a sinner [aren’t we all? Romans 3:23] and he/she WILL do wrong, and need correction– at school or a friend’s house, even in children’s church.

image from google seasrch

image from google seasrch

And in order to teach them respect for authority, I must be willing to allow other people to have authority over and correct my child. And I, as the parent, must also be willing to enforce their obedience to that other authority. Otherwise I will be teaching my child that I, the parent, can take their responsibility of obedience on my own shoulders; and one day she would have a very rude awakening.

Galatians 6:7,8- Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. [We will all reap the consequences from our OWN actions, and we must TEACH this truth to our children.]

If I do not teach the reality of consequences—

Romans 4:11,12- As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

[We are each responsible for our own actions.]

and

I Peter 4: 3-5- For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:  wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead.

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[There will be those who do not understand when we choose to live differently, but God will judge.]

—then, when our children are all grown up, they will likely continue to expect Dad and Mom to bail them out when they have done wrong, and may live as though you can bail them out in heaven, too.

And here is the point:

There comes a time [earlier than you might expect and years before they become a teenager!] when I cannot and should not protect my children from themselves, and the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn responsibility and integrity.

Deliverance ….before a lesson is learned

is DESTRUCTIVE.

and I do not want to destroy the most precious gifts God has given me!

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{10 reasons} I’m thankful to be a SAHW&M

When we found out we were expecting our first child, I had no other thought but that I would stop working outside the home and become a stay-at-home-mom. My husband and I never really sat down and talked it through [we should have!], but that was his desire for me as well.
In the years since I have realized many things about myself. The most glaringly evident being that I am not a very good housekeeper {I do smile at this, so you can too!}. But I love my husband and my children, and here are some reasons I am thankful to stay home each day.

[in no particular order]
1. My younger children can sleep until their bodies are ready to wake up [which is usually early enough!]
2. I can influence what goes into their minds each day.
3. We can learn how to keep a home. together! [they will probably be better than I am before they are teenagers!]
4. I have more opportunity to create meals from ‘scratch’ and have learned a little about nutrition and health.
5. I am available to my husband at any time to help with any project he has.
6. I am available to pick up my child from school if she were to be ill, and I do not have to worry about loosing my job in order to stay home to care for my children if they are sick. {edit: Now as a homeschool mom, we can do what is necessary to ensure health or take steps to get well while staying home.}
7. I can spend time learning something new–such as how to make food from scratch and how to use and organize a schedule! {edit: I am now pursuing herbal “alternatives” and more natural health.}
8. I have opportunity to help with different ministries [on occasion] in our church that I could not if I held an ‘outside job’.
9. In all honesty, I simply enjoy being at home [most days] and just loving on my kids and preparing for hubby and big sister to come home.
10. But the main reason for my being thankful for the opportunity to stay home is that I have realized just how important it really is. I will not go into all the detail of what and how… but only recently have I truly understood the importance of my role as a wife …and then a mother… and been able to find contentment [with God’s help] in learning how to be.
FOLLOWING THIS YEAR LONG BLOG HOP:
and beginning this Wednesday I will be posting something  “wifey” and prayerfully encouraging!!
the last Wednesday of each month for the rest of the year.
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preserve. guide. bless.

treePsalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.

Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Proverbs 20:7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Apparently, integrity is something that can guide us. can preserve us. can bless our children. It is on the same level as uprightness– better than having riches.

I want integrity.

I want my children to have integrity!!

integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction; internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data

When most of us think of integrity in people, we probably are thinking of the first part of the definition: being honest and having strong moral principles.

Are we honest? Obviously, we should not speak our whole mind about others or to others [Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.].

But sometimes we are not even honest with ourselves. We say we do not care what others think, but we do; AND we SHOULD. We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.

To care about what others think does not mean I will compromise the cause of Christ–and my children need to understand that, too.

I must not brush aside when others correct my children or make known a fault {no matter if it is done rudely or tastefully}. 

I must teach my children how to handle correction- with humility and honesty.

But also, we must deal honestly with others.girlsbridge

Speak honestly.

Pay attention that we do not take advantage of others’ generosity.

And keep watch that our children learn this.

Even further, are we honest with God? in our opportunities to witness, with using the talents He has given us, in our giving. Only an individual can examine his own heart, but we must also remember that others see our actions.

[We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.]

Beyond being honest, do we have a Biblical sense of morality? I stress Biblical because today’s morality is changed from the morality my parents grew up with. We cannot flow with society in this.

Do I teach my children what the Bible says about right and wrong? Do I teach them consequences? If not, they will have a rude awakening one day. Do I give them an example of truthfulness and responsibility?

Simple ethics and expectations of good behavior, a Biblical sense of justice and modest propriety seem to be a thing of by-gone days.

But as mothers, we can help CHANGE that!

     by TEACHING our children to have integrity.

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answering {simple} questions .2

answering {simple} questions .2

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  
can you truly answer a child’s questions regarding salvation. 
Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

 

3. Why does a person need to be saved?
4. What is sin?
and
5. How old does a person have to be to get saved?
How can I understand, Mom?
The Bible tells us that every person has sin in his heart. We also learn from studying God’s Word that God cannot have sin in heaven, and if we keep sin in our heart He cannot hear our prayers [except for the prayer of salvation] or allow us into Heaven to be with Him.  We have to ask Jesus to wash away the sin in our heart to have God take us to heaven.
Simply put, sin is breaking God’s Law. Another simple explanation of sin is “anything that I may think, say, or do that does not please God.” some examples are: lying, hitting, disobeying, thinking mean thoughts. {Be specific when dealing with your own children. Give examples of things you know they have done that are sin.}
If you know the difference between right and wrong and you understand that there are consequences to doing wrong, then you are old enough to be saved. There is no specific age that God says, “You cannot be saved before you are xxx years old.” But neither is there an age that God says, “All people are old enough after they are xxx years old.”  {If your child is asking these questions, it is possible that they are indeed ready to make the decision to ask Jesus to save them. But this is an area where parents must ask God for wisdom in guiding each individual child.}

some Scripture reading: [again] John 3; 14:6; 
Romans 3:23; 5:6-21

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{searching} for ME

{searching} for ME

{my heart–convicted recently… sharing}

Have you ever heard the expression “I just need to find myself”?

Maybe you have been there, searching for who you are- leaving family and just looking- searching God’s creation for YOU.

Or maybe you have not physically left your life in this pursuit, but emotionally there are days when you are “checked out” and unavailable. [I am pointing any  and all fingers at myself!]

People searching, hunting, rummaging, pursuing– for SELF. {Who am I?}

~a quest of self-discovery.

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Our world is filled with these people. We have a pre-occupation with SELF.

And God says we are FOOLS.

A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.  Proverbs 18:2

  Being a Wife is a full-time responsibility. Being a Mommy is hard work. You know this.

We don’t have time to “find ourselves.” [and if we tried, that would make us fools!]

We do not have time to be “checked out.”

BUT

We don’t have to.

If Jesus has you, then you ARE found. {JOY}

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we are   {FOUND}

Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. Luke 15:6

we are  {OWNED}

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. I and my Father are one. John 10:27-30

we are  {LOVED}

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Proverbs 8:17

I must REST in HIM~in WHO He is~in what He has done for me~in what He can do through me.

…and be contented in knowing that where I am is not where I will always be.

I pray you have a BLESSED weekend!

Because HE is… I can be!

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