everything else | Designing 31

the soul’s delight {day 29}

DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions that my children are perfect. Their teachers tell me when they have done wrong to prove it! …and we have correction discussions multiple times daily. It takes W.O.R.K. And I do realize their ARE children who require extra effort… and I have no idea how I would handle them, except that God promises to give us grace for our own trials and not another’s. And those few times I have received praises… they often come back to haunt me when we have shameful days. I fail everyday. I correct in haste with an unkind voice more often than I would care to admit. I do not train when I should {because it takes T.I.M.E.}. But every time, I know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who is ready to hold my hand and walk me through it… one-more-time. over-and-over-again. daily.

From Proverbs 29

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [verse 15]
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. [verse 17]

Several times through the book of Proverbs, child correcting and training and the rod are mentioned. And it is spoken of twice in this one chapter!

{While I do believe there is a right and a wrong way to physically punish a child, that is not the point today!}

The fact that I must give correction… I must reprove [tell them they are wrong] and train [show/tell them how to be right] my children…

that is the point.

And these two verses give the basic reasons why:

Children will not learn wisdom [how to think and act with discretion, in a way pleasing to the Lord] without correction and discipline and training. And often punishment is involved [the rod].

Reproof and correction are not punishment… just a ‘time out’ or spanking or whatever method is employed for punishing wrong- that is not training.

Punishment alone is not the answer, but it is a vital part.

we must walk this path of life WITH them

As parents, we must take the time- and as a mother I have much more opportunity to do this than my husband… and often fall very short- to speak with and train our children- a kind, loving voice instructing our children what is right, how toys are to be put away, how siblings are to be treated, etc.

Truly, as in verse 15, when we leave untrained, uncorrected children all alone… the mothers are shamed– often to the point of reprimanding in anger [BEEN THERE!].

But when loving reproof and training have been employed by {preferably} both mother and father… those children will give rest to whomever is in charge of them, with just a soft word of correction.

They will be a delight unto their parent’s souls.

Others can tell when a child has had loving correction and consistent discipline [both the rod and the training, hand in hand]… because they will make comments like: “oh, your children are so well-behaved” {to which I try to reply: “They are God’s gift to me!”}…

or “how do you make them all behave?” {to which I just smile {and try not to crack up laughing}! most people do not really want to know that sometimes crying is involved…}

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remembering….

by tascha | 2 comments

{This was copied by permission from a friend… He captured well the essence of Misty’s spirit-reminding me of what MY goal should be. She was a friend. Today marks 13 years since this crash that claimed 2 lives and injured 3 others, and I pray these thoughts are an encouragement to someone–to keep on… or to get back on the right path!}

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According to my earnest expectation and my hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it by by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain. [Philippians 1:20]

I met her for the first time at 7:00 a.m. on the back porch of the college bookstore. I found it a great place to go before class each morning to read and pray, watching the sun rise over the East Tennessee hills.

Misty had come to the same conclusion apparently, as I turned the corner and saw her sitting there watching the sun rise. “I was just leaving,” she said as she rose to go.

“Take your time,” I replied.

As the months passed, I came to know her well. She was somehow different than many of my other college friends. There was something about her that glowed inwardly. I came to realize that Misty Carrier had a walk with the Lord Jesus Christ unmatched by anyone her age I had ever met before.

She was just 21 years old. I know personally that she spend hours in prayer and personal Bible study each week, in spite of a heavy class load. She was a soul-winner and had and inner passion that set her soul afire for the lost.

I often wondered what great work God had in store for her life. Her parents were missionaries in Papua New Guinea, and she spoke often of their work there. The conversations we had were not the normal chitchat of college friends but were deeper and more thoughtful. She spoke with a passion of wanting to be such an instrument of Christ so as to be controlled each moment of every day by His divine hand.

Her life verse is given above, and it was her guiding light. She wanted to magnify Christ, no matter what that meant. She had few close friends, but none so close as her precious Savior, for whom she longed to be ever closer. She would pray, “Lord, if you can use my life to save some soul today, take it. I just want to be close to you.”

In September of 1999, the Lord took her up on her offer.

Just a few hundred yards from her dormitory, she was pulling her car onto the road one evening and was struck by a drunk driver.

He walked away.

She did not.

Standing over her casket at the funeral, her grandfather she loved so dearly, announced with tear filled eyes that he had finally accepted Christ as Savior.

The cost? Misty’s life.

Though we may ponder the value of the trade, Misty did not.

Though we may question the judgement of the Lord, she saw only the outcome: Christ shall be magnified.

In James 4:14, the Bible asks this question, “What is your life?”

For Misty Carrier, the answer was simple. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

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I received these words in an email about 10 years ago. They struck me, and I contemplated them.

After printing it, the page stayed in my Bible for years, along with a hand-penned note from my dad… about how he was proud of me.

After a while, neither was safe where little hands could reach {since they routinely fell out of the pages :)}… so they are both tucked away, safely. But I read them often.

Their words inspire me to live so that

1. others will remember Jesus when I’m gone…

2. those who have invested in my life will be proud to have done so.

Remembering 9.11.01

by tascha

There are many words I could use to describe this day. But I won’t.

If you are an American, you will never forget this day. Sometimes I can hardly believe it was eleven years ago.

Here is a video I made last year for the 10-year memorial. We showed it in our church.

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Tonight I will hug my babies a little snugger. I will hold my man a little closer. And I will be thanking God for all His blessings on me!

And I will be praying a little harder for my country and the soon coming decisions we each must make about what happens 2 months from today.

the trust of babes

by tascha | 1 comment

If you are a momma or have ever been close to small children, you will recognize what I am talking about here.

{not my kitchen sink! but isn’t that tile pretty?}

I stand still. My hands are immersed in that sudsy, warm water known to all women… at the kitchen sink. {smiles} My mind wanders a million miles away-to time past or our children’s future…. or just a few feet away to thoughts of my honey.

And then I feel it, the little fingers tugging at my skirt {and my heart strings!} while little legs struggle to stand. This miniature body leans full force into me. He knows I will not let him fall {at least not too hard, yet}. He trusts me.

I sit. I bend my body all the way down to the floor. They need mommy to be accessible. Sometimes all at once, but usually one by one, little bodies come to me, wanting arms to wrap around. The baby pushes through on hands and knees still. He grabs whatever he can reach and uses my strength to help him stand, again. His body lunges for me. He trusts my love.

taken over a year ago!

This trust, all my children showed it as babies. This all-consuming confidence is how I must trust God my Father to care for my day-to-day. He DOES care, even for the nitty gritty!

I must rest knowing that He will catch me should I fall when struggling to stand. He never moves. [Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8], so He is always right where I need Him to be when I need Strength.

I must trust, rest as securely as my child using me to learn to stand, in His love for me.

And so should you… because His love for you is the same!

growing

by tascha

growing

While my 14 month old still crawls, and seems content to do so, I often remember that my 2 middle children walked before they were 10 months old! The oldest walked just before her first birthday.

And I am struck with these differences.

Some of it does have to do with gender, and how girls and boys mature differently. But people in general mature and grow differently-at different paces, in different orders.

baby toes

Our oldest was speaking fairly clearly with full words at 11-12 months, but she never crawled until about 2 weeks before she started walking… right before she turned 1.

The next two both crawled by 5/6 months and were walking soon after, but they both had trouble forming words coherently until they were well past their second birthdays.

This little baby-man we now have… he took his time learning to crawl. He is taking his time with walking too. And I think he’ll follow those two who took their time talking also.

walking up stairs

And I found a lesson to be learned…

every person will grow differently from every other person.

We may meet someone who has had similar experiences as ourselves, but they will not have grown exactly the same. Even siblings, growing up with the same parents, same house, same experiences, same church, same everything… still become different people. And they learn things in different ways and from different circumstances. They even learn the same things in a different order.

And so do baby Christians.

Just because a person was saved at the same time you were does not mean they will automatically be at the same place spiritually that you are every step…. even if you’ve been in the same church and had similar experiences.

And we cannot push people to learn something other than what God is teaching them –right then. Others can observe my growth and be encouraged that God is not done with them. And in turn, I can observe their growth and realize God is not done with me, either!

sisters walking

I may learn a particular lesson earlier in my Christian walk than my husband or a friend, but that does not make me more spiritual. My husband had learned many things I had yet to encounter when we were first married… and now the Lord allows him to be right there helping me through as I learn them later-in different ways.

All of that to say, every other person is going to grow and mature in a different way than I do, just as each of our children grow and learn differently. And I cannot and should not try to push or shove people in their Christian walk…

I must gently guide those the Lord puts in my path to guide {my children, a SS class, close friends, etc}.

I must pray for those He does not give me the authority to instruct {other people’s children who are not in my care, people who do not know my testimony, even those who simply seem to resist me as a person}.

And I must be an example to any who care to observe my life that God does indeed grow people. And I must allow Him to work!

While my 14 month old still crawls, and seems content to do so, I often remember that my 2 middle children walked before they were 10 months old! The oldest walked just before her first birthday.

And I am struck with these differences.

Some of it does have to do with gender, and how girls and boys mature differently. But people in general mature and grow differently-at different paces, in different orders.

baby toes

Our oldest was speaking fairly clearly with full words at 11-12 months, but she never crawled until about 2 weeks before she started walking… right before she turned 1.

The next two both crawled by 5/6 months and were walking soon after, but they both had trouble forming words coherently until they were well past their second birthdays.

This little baby-man we now have… he took his time learning to crawl. He is taking his time with walking too. And I think he’ll follow those two who took their time talking also.

walking up stairs