[day 19] PFHY: be a good father {or prepare his heart}

Even if you and your husband do not have children, praying for his heart to be prepared is still a good thing! Even praying that he would be a godly example towards children that are in your life-extended family, church, etc. is good.heart

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Colossians 3:21

1-Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2- And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also. 2 Timothy 2:1-2

And one thing I had to learn as a mother is… just because he does things DIFFERENTLY does not make them WRONG 🙂 Being a good father is not about how they dress or bathe them, but that they love and discipline them in godliness.

praying for husband

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when life happens {day 8}

You know the saying “Life is what happens after you make plans.”?
That was my day today. I had plans to “farm the kids out” {not really, just asked a trusted, sweet lady to keep them for the day}… so I could concentrate on some truly necessary things in our home that keep getting pushed further and further into {not onto, that would imply I’m still entertaining thoughts of them. haha} the back burner. 
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And then, last night, I heard a racking, hoarse cough coming from the girls’ room. I knew right away which one it was… my baby girl. Her congestion had finally settled, hard, right in her chest.

She woke up coughing… and crying, which made it worse. And made my momma-heart hurt.

But even amid the fatigue, the Lord gave me strength and brought certain things to my remembrance to help me help her. We got her coughing calmed down, and she went back to sleep for several hours… then it was time to get her sisters up for school. 
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A little while later, the baby’s nasal drainage caused his tummy to not appreciate his breakfast… {but he jumped right back up to being his normal, happy little self… and we are all cleaned and disinfected. hehe}

All this to paint a backdrop for this one thought:
...[God’s] strength is made perfect in [my] weakness.  
2 Corinthians 12:9 [added]

While this has been a far cry from my “worst day ever,” life happened to bring me a day far different than I had planned. And because I know HIM... I can rest in His strength when days just don’t turn out the way I wanted.

edited: {not saying I always do rest in this strength, just that I can… and it is blessed}


I pray you can also find rest in His strength when life happens… after you make those plans {smiles}.

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noticing a mote {day 10}

One of the passages I read this morning was in Luke 6… where the Lord Jesus says:
Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? …why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye? … Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye. [select from verses 39-42]

Usually I hear this passage preached or spoken of as a reason for “not judging” your brother… And I like this quote I have seen recently: “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.” which implies that we all sin, because we do!… but there ARE appropriate times and places to give judgment.

And I don’t think I’m going where you think I’m going… { 🙂 }.

I am turning the tables on myself here.

Often, I find myself disciplining my children… for acting: just-like-me! 
Not – how I acted when I was a child {that’s another post!}, but how I acted… – yesterday.
I see the mote in my brother’s [child’s] eye but NOT in my own, until it has driven me crazy… in my child’s life! 

Recently, and again this morning, I have purposed to asking God to help me see the beam/mote/problem in my own life before the same thing in my children causes me frustrations. 
Because- while I can punish them for doing wrong and teach them about what is appropriate and kind, etc. {as I should!} -until I actually acknowledge [that’s the hardest part] and change these situations in my own life, all the teaching and disciplining and punishing will be counter-productive!
And then the Lord gives grace and wisdom for me to deal with the same in my children’s lives. {It is always a lesson in patience.}
{Being a mother is one of the 
most rewarding things I have ever done, 
but it is also quite humbling! 🙂 }

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giving good gifts {day 12}

“after” – this makes my heart sing.
Sometimes, it is frustrating to realize just how much like a little child {my children, no less!} I act. 

When they are asked to complete a very simple chore: please take the toys off of the bookshelves, because you know they do not belong there [this is purely for my own sanity]; their first response is: but I can’t reach… whatever toy on whatever shelf… excuses. 
[SOMEONE put it there! and it wasn’t Mommy!!] 

{yes. this happened just a few minutes ago… :)}

And then I think about simple tasks my Heavenly Father asks of me… write a kind note to a hurting church member, take a few extra steps and say HI to a visitor in church, let me {HIM} help you love your family as you want to… as is your heart’s desire.
… and I say, but LORD! I just can’t do that! for whatever reason. {I don’t have their address, I feel awkward talking to strangers, sometimes it’s hard to let God move in my heart….
I forget what I tell my own children: Just say yes, ma’am and do what you can; show me you are trying to obey, and ask for my help and Mommy will help with the rest…
“before”–’nuff said!
Is not God better than that?
and I am reminded of:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened…If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:8 & 11
Yes, Lord. 

That is all the response He asks.

So, today, I wrote a note… and I am going to ask God to help me show my family how much I love them! And for tomorrow… we’ll just see what tomorrow brings!

one other passage came to mind:  
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: 
for my strength is made perfect in weakness. 
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, 
that the power of Christ may rest upon me
for when I am weak, then am I strong.  
2 Corinthians 12:9 & 10
 
 
The bookshelf pictures were from about 2 weeks ago… I did a major decluttering and re-shelving of books. When little fingers think the bookshelves are playgrounds, nothing is safe! Most of the messiness is moved and ‘rearranged’ books. The “after” picture is almost what it looked like again this morning after we removed several layers of toys… SO happy! I took pictures to PROVE that they CAN look nice 🙂 with all the books on the shelves and “in their home.”

compared to oxen {day 15}

compared to oxen {day 15}

This from the Proverb for yesterday. 

Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4I heard this verse preached several times while in Bible College. I had never actually understood it before that.

It has become a motto of mine since becoming a mother of 4. {lol}

While I strive, regularly, to put things in order and keep things clean and straightened, it is not a possibility at this season of my life for my home to be perfectly “kept” at all times each day.
And yes, I realize I am comparing my children to oxen. { 🙂 }
But while they are yet small and in-training… and until they leave, my home will have some measure of chaos.
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I realize there are those ladies who have several small children and their home never seems to look like it {I applaud them!}, but I am not one of themAnd while I hate tripping on blocks and slipping on books, I cannot compare myself to them. 

I must compare myself with what I am asked to do and how diligently I try to do it.

I do not have the ability to keep all the plates juggling {pick-up toys, clean laundry, wash dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, put laundry away, etc} at all times every day. And some days, all the plates simply crash and stay there. {oh yes, they do.}

And besides all the “house-keeping” responsibilities, I am also trying to teach my children how to keep a house… as well as to love God and obey His Words.

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2014

While my example is paramount, I must take time to speak to them also. And we must have hands-on discussions at times… either in actual chores being done over and over or in discipline-both apply.
And I also have several responsibilities outside of ‘home-keeping’ that I do from my home.

But my point is, people are messy.

Life is messy.

But when I loose site of the goal: my children being grown, functioning, responsible Christian adults, the messy makes me feel like I am not accomplishing anything.
So I have to remind myself….
when my “oxen” are gone… my crib may be a bit neater…
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but I pray Christ’s work is stronger because my children are active in it!

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a crown for old men {day 17}

Today is my youngest daughter’s 4th birthday.

this picture is a couple months old  -- and now a couple of years!

this picture is a couple months old — and now a couple of years!

She is  HOOT… and a whirlwind. 

She has the energy of my entire life in her pinky. [still!]

And today, while reading the Proverb, I came to this verse:

Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

And it made me stop and think {as it has before} that MY children… are my parent’s “children’s children.”

with the grandparents

with my grandparents <3

And I want them to be a “crown” to their grandfathers, and to their great-grand-parents!
And of course, I was reminded of another Proverb: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

And that reminded me of a post I read [link is broken] yesterday… about “the way.” 

Jesus is “the way.” 

So, while rules give boundaries that are necessary, and we should expect rules to be obeyed, our main focus should be on pleasing Jesus… making Him our life.

And that in-between relationship… I know my husband {and I do too!} desires to live such a life that his children would see his heritage/legacy as a thing of glory, as something to desire to pass on to their own children one day.

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the seed, the Word {day 20}

Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. Those by the way side are they that hear…But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience. from Luke 8:4-15, the parable of the Sower

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These verses, this story, was in my scheduled Bible reading for today. I intensely wish for my own life to bring forth fruit, and I know it requires patience to see it. 

But just as fiercely I wish for my own children to receive the Seed of the Word of God [become saved] and also bear fruit.

Only on the “good ground” is the Word received AND fruit is born. As a mother, my prayer is for my children’s hearts to be good ground… I am not a farmer, but I do know a few things about the general type of soil needed to grow good crops.IMG_0431

First it must also be rich in nutrients. All plants of the earth require different minerals to produce their various fruits. We must allow God to prepare the soil of our children’s hearts through consistent Bible reading [family devotions are a wonderful way to do this!], Bible memorization, and Scripture verses displayed where they can read them [when they can read!] Only through the principles learned thus will an honest and good heart be produced. [Mark 10:18]

It must also be moist. A dry heart is less likely to hold onto a seed. Moist soil is soft and pliable. We must ask for and then allow the Spirit of God [rivers of living water- John 7:39] to regularly and consistently pour water into our children’s lives. Our children need to see the Spirit’s work in our own lives. We must teach and exemplify the truths and principles found in Scripture to help their hearts to remain tender until such time as they understand their personal need for accepting Jesus.

IMG_0427It must also be able to receive sunlight daily. As saved parents, we are light to our children. [Matthew 5:14-16] Our testimony affects how our children receive God. This is a scary thought. My children see me at my absolute worst and know if I strive to allow God’s love to shine through me even during the frustrations and difficulties or if it is an act. And we must also be diligent to surround our children, as much as possible, with others’ whose lights shine brightly for the Lord.

And last of all, it needs to be in a good location to receive nutrients and water and light. When we neglect to take our children to church or read the Bible at home or speak of the Spirit leading us throughout the day, how can they know?


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the soul’s delight {day 29}

DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions that my children are perfect. Their teachers tell me when they have done wrong to prove it! …and we have correction discussions multiple times daily. It takes W.O.R.K.  And I do realize their ARE children who require extra effort… and I have no idea how I would handle them, except that God promises to give us grace for our own trials and not another’s.  And those few times I have received praises… they often come back to haunt me when we have shameful days. I fail everyday. I correct in haste with an unkind voice more often than I would care to admit. I do not train when I should {because it takes T.I.M.E.}. But every time, I know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who is ready to hold my hand and walk me through it… one-more-time. over-and-over-again. daily.

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From Proverbs 29

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [verse 15]
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. [verse 17]

Several times through the book of Proverbs, child correcting and training and the rod are mentioned. And it is spoken of twice in this one chapter

{While I do believe there is a right and a wrong way to physically punish a child, that is not the point today!}

The fact that I must give correction… I must reprove [tell them they are wrong] and train [show/tell them how to be right] my children…

that is the point.

And these two verses give the basic reasons why:

Children will not learn wisdom [how to think and act with discretion, in a way pleasing to the Lord] without correction and discipline and training. And often punishment is involved [the rod].

Reproof and correction are not punishment… just a ‘time out’ or spanking or whatever method is employed for punishing wrong- that is not training.

Punishment alone is not the answer, but it is a vital part.

we must walk this path of life WITH them

we must walk this path of life WITH them

As parents, we must take the time- and as a mother I have much more opportunity to do this than my husband… and often fall very short- to speak with and train our children- a kind, loving voice instructing our children what is right, how toys are to be put away, how siblings are to be treated, etc.

Truly, as in verse 15, when we leave untrained, uncorrected children all alone the mothers are shamed– often to the point of reprimanding in anger [BEEN THERE!]. 

But when loving reproof and training have been employed by {preferably} both mother and father… those children will give rest to whomever is in charge of them, with just a soft word of correction.

They will be a delight unto their parent’s souls.

Others can tell when a child has had loving correction and consistent discipline [both the rod and the training, hand in hand]… because they will make comments like: “oh, your children are so well-behaved” {to which I try to reply: “They are God’s gift to me!”}…

or “how do you make them all behave?” {to which I just smile {and try not to crack up laughing}! most people do not really want to know that sometimes crying is involved…}

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