do good | Designing 31

when life hands you {crazy}

Right about one year ago I wrote this post… but it never got published. It was raw. It was typed out in frustration.

But when I came across it yesterday, all I could see was that it was REAL… authentic feelings that I now know many moms feel.

And it’s not a sin to BE frustrated-only to allow it to control you.

The ages and such are a little different now, but the truth still applies… a whole year later:

…when life hands you crazy:

I know many families with more than 4 children who seem to really have it all together.

And I know families with less than 4 children who seem to, well, NOT have it all together.

Me? OH! Our family has 4 children… and definitely do NOT have it all together!

thanksgiving.

{but together, we have it all :)}

But, on occasion, we give the illusion that it’s all dandy. [hehe]

I have found that life just dishes out crazy… like there’s not tomorrow! {and there may not be}

So what’s a girl to do when the crazy just keeps coming?

The answer might sound difficult, but it’s really just a mindset:

EMBRACE IT.

Welcome crazy to just come and have a seat right next to you!

Crazy comes

and your baby has an outfit-dirtying-blowout 5 minutes before you are supposed to leave for school… go ahead and cry. We’ve all been there!

Crazy comes

and your already-trained-toddler wets herself in the bathroom… at church…

Crazy comes

and your 3rd grader reminds you of her project that was not finished but is due… today.
Apologize after you loose it, and take a few moments to remind her of her own responsibility… and that childhood is the time to learn it.

Crazy comes

when your baby breaks out in hives caused by an allergic reaction to his meds…

…and your 5 year old breaks out in something… caused by a-still-unknown-source…

…and your husband’s asthma [which has been very mild for years] starts acting up daily and your heart is terrified of the struggle to breathe…

…and you have friends and far-away-family struggling with things that make a soul yearn for the Lord to just return and take us all away…

And then you remember there are those who are not yet ready for that.

And so, crazy strikes yet again and you realize that life is going on… for now… and HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH CRAZY?

oh, right… EMBRACE it.

The days I handle the crazy the best are the days I wake up and struggle to get out of bed... And my 5 year old gets up in a grumpy-funk, and I snap at her at 6:35 am…..

and I see the hurt in her face, in the face of her older sister sitting there listening to it…

and the Lord catches me in my fall.

I realize crazy has come yet another day into my home.

I stop.

I hug that 5 year old squirming her grumps away.

And I whisper a prayer that sounds something like… “oh God, please help me!”

I speak an apology to my babies and coax some laughter out of their little bodies.

because those are the days I am forced to keep muttering… “Lord, make me love with your love and make me speak with your words and make me touch with your embrace…” all day long.

kids2

Right about one year ago I wrote this post… but it never got published. It was raw. It was typed out in frustration.

But when I came across it yesterday, all I could see was that it was REAL… authentic feelings that I now know many moms feel.

And it’s not a sin to BE frustrated-only to allow it to control you.

The ages and such are a little different now, but the truth still applies… a whole year later:

…when life hands you crazy:

I know many families with more than 4 children who seem to really have it all together.

And I know families with less than 4 children who seem to, well, NOT have it all together.

Me? OH! Our family has 4 children… and definitely do NOT have it all together!

thanksgiving.

{but together, we have it all :)}

But, on occasion, we give the illusion that it’s all dandy. [hehe]

I have found that life just dishes out crazy… like there’s not tomorrow! {and there may not be}

So what’s a girl to do when the crazy just keeps coming?

The answer might sound difficult, but it’s really just a mindset:

EMBRACE IT.

Welcome crazy to just come and have a seat right next to you!

Crazy comes

and your baby has an outfit-dirtying-blowout 5 minutes before you are supposed to leave for school… go ahead and cry. We’ve all been there!

Crazy comes

and your already-trained-toddler wets herself in the bathroom… at church…

Crazy comes

when your baby breaks out in hives caused by an allergic reaction to his meds…

…and your 5 year old breaks out in something… caused by a-still-unknown-source…

…and your husband’s asthma [which has been very mild for years] starts acting up daily and your heart is terrified of the struggle to breathe…

…and you have friends and far-away-family struggling with things that make a soul yearn for the Lord to just return and take us all away…

And then you remember there are those who are not yet ready for that.

And so, crazy strikes yet again and you realize that life is going on… for now… and HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH CRAZY?

oh, right… EMBRACE it.

The days I handle the crazy the best are the days I wake up and struggle to get out of bed... And my 5 year old gets up in a grumpy-funk, and I snap at her at 6:35 am…..

and I see the hurt in her face, in the face of her older sister sitting there listening to it…

and the Lord catches me in my fall.

I realize crazy has come yet another day into my home.

I stop.

I hug that 5 year old squirming her grumps away.

And I whisper a prayer that sounds something like… “oh God, please help me!”

I speak an apology to my babies and coax some laughter out of their little bodies.

because those are the days I am forced to keep muttering… “Lord, make me love with your love and make me speak with your words and make me touch with your embrace…” all day long.

kids2

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my “to do” list… and yours

by tpiatt

my “to do” list… and yours

I do not normally post on Saturdays… and definitely not this late 🙂 but this post was so strong in my heart that I felt compelled to go ahead and post it. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It is overwhelming: this day-to-day of being a wife and mother, a sister and daughter, a friend, a mentor.

There is pressure from the world to do-all, be-all, have-all…. and if you don’t… well, I won’t go there.

There is pressure from within ourselves, and sometimes even from within our circle of friends, to do-it-right, to-make-it-look-good… and if there’s a crack in that mirage you’re selling to the public, the whole thing comes crashing down one day.

But do you know where none of that pressure originates?

None of that pressure originates from our Lord.

Yes, He does not want us living in filth… never cleaning our home or washing our clothing.

But neither does HE put this pressure into our lives to have this perfect pretense.

I am going to share a portion of a letter a dear friend of mine sent out a while back. She and her family are missionaries and wish to remain anonymous, but what she wrote really spoke to my spirit that day, and has helped me view certain situations very differently since.

I pray that it will be a blessing to you as well {italicized are my own comments}:

~~~~~

I have finally come to realize that in some areas of my life, I am a perfectionist. Not in everything, but in things concerning my personal life, I try very hard to be perfect, redeeming the time, faithful, efficient, and frugal. The only problem is that I can never quite reach my own expectations. {that is SO me!!} I also have three children, which have an amazing way of bringing inefficiently to life. 🙂 {what truth! lol} But during the past few weeks, as I have tried very hard to study [a new language], home-school my children, care for my home, and visit with new friends, my goal of being faithful, diligent, and efficient has brought me nothing but frustration and has robbed me of my joy. {I have experienced this so often. No one can BE everything all the time!}

And then I began to realize that my eyes were in the wrong place. {OH, my spirit smites me!} Hebrews tells us that we are to be “looking unto Jesus,” and, as I heard many times in college, my goal is to be like God, and nothing else. Now my daily goal in life is to walk with Christ, moment by moment – following the gentle promptings of His Spirit. That just might mean that instead of studying one evening, I may be praying for [my mission field], or reading a book to my children, or playing dolls with [my daughter].

Following Christ will not always follow my “to do list,” or line up with my priorities for the day {because sometimes I am so “goal oriented”}, or look the same as other believers {no 2 families are the same}, but it will bring me peace and rest, joy and comfort as I make God my goal, and let Him order my day. As I come to rest in the fact that God desires for me to be faithful, to learn [a new language], to raise my children, to stand by my husband – I can trust Him to guide my steps each day to accomplish these things and much more, as I rely on His wisdom and not my own.

I recently came across the words to one of my favorite hymns, and this verse has become the song of my heart.

I could not do without Thee,
I cannot stand alone,
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own;
But Thou, beloved Savior,
Art all in all to me,
And weakness will be power
If leaning hard on Thee.

– Frances R. Haverg

I do not normally post on Saturdays... and definitely not this late :) but this post was so strong in my heart that I felt compelled to go ahead and post it. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It is overwhelming: this day-to-day of being a wife and mother, a sister and daughter, a friend, a mentor.

There is pressure from the world to do-all, be-all, have-all…. and if you don’t… well, I won’t go there.

But do you know where none of that pressure originates?

None of that pressure originates from our Lord.

Yes, He does not want us living in filth… never cleaning our home or washing our clothing.

But neither does HE put this pressure into our lives to have this perfect pretense.

I pray that it will be a blessing to you as well {italicized are my own comments}:

~~~~~

I recently came across the words to one of my favorite hymns, and this verse has become the song of my heart.

– Frances R. Haverg

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not of the world {day 3}

by tascha

Last night in my church’s special Revival Services, the Lord touched my heart. He convicted me about my witness… out in public, not an online public, but where people see the actual flesh and blood of my body and who I am.

Though He has many times spoken to my heart about its conduct. And He has changed many things in my life in the area of speech and dress and attitude. This is not how He spoke to me this time {that is not to say I think I have arrived! but it is something I consciously work on frequently.}

During our 9 years of living in this home, we have canvassed [invited neighbors to visit our church as well as ask about their salvation] our street and a few surrounding streets several times, though rarely is anyone home. And while I think we as a family could do this more frequently, that is not what He spoke to me about either.

Being a stay-at-home-wife-and-mother with 4 children [ages 1-8 yo], and many years off/on only having the one vehicle [and now fuel is so high, it’s almost like having one vehicle as we use them both at the same time so rarely], I did/do not leave the house often outside of attending church. But when I do, I am not normally thinking about speaking to anyone. I have a grocery list and a time-frame, and often 2 or more children with me.

What the Lord so graciously and lovingly knocked me up-side the head with is that even then, even when rushed to make sure I do not forget the bread or that I don’t forget to look at the sales racks for that bargain…. I must not block out the world around me. The world that is literally rushing to spend an eternity in hell.

How long would it take me to grab a tract out of my purse and hand it to the lady perusing the canned goods with me? How much brain power does it really take so ask “Do you know Jesus?” to the family also looking for a deal in the toothpaste? How can I be so focused on the toothpaste that it takes precedence over a human soul? I am positive that if I came home and told my husband that someone promised to come to a service or even let me talk further about salvation right there in the grocery store, he would not be in the least upset that I told him I forgot the toothpaste… or even the milk and eggs and bread!

So, this soul-beating that I took last night has softened my heart to SEE the world around me. Just because I am not OF the world does not mean I am not IN it, and I have a grave responsibility of sharing Jesus with someone!

good and not evil {3}

by tascha

good and not evil {3}

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:12

Here we see the phrase all the days of her life.

It is implied in verse 11 that this is a continual, diligent process: my husband’s heart resting safely in me [I am overwhelmed every time I think of that]. But here we truly see that the heart issue is the part that is my lifelong task.

Oh, my heart- so full of wickedness that I am full of conviction as I type this.

This virtue of my husband’s heart being able to trust in me IS doing my husband GOOD.

And I must strive for this all the days of my life!

If I act or speak in any way that causes my husband’s heart to loose trust-no matter the ‘minuteness’ of it-this is evil towards him. This is what I must not do. I must guard my own heart against it.

While I know that I will continue to fail {we are all sinners}, I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every. single. day.

It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed,

because his compassions fail not.

This I recall to my mind,

therefore have I hope.

They are new every morning:

great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

And I rejoice that my husband strives to be the man of God for me-which means he forgives me. And then together we have another opportunity to get it right.

Only you, dear reader, can know what this good and evil will look like in your own marriage. But my prayer today is that we will seek God’s face and strength for this monumental daily opportunity.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:12

Here we see the phrase all the days of her life.

Oh, my heart- so full of wickedness that I am full of conviction as I type this.

This virtue of my husband’s heart being able to trust in me IS doing my husband GOOD.

And I must strive for this all the days of my life!

While I know that I will continue to fail {we are all sinners}, I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every. single. day.

It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed,

because his compassions fail not.

This I recall to my mind,

therefore have I hope.

They are new every morning:

great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

And I rejoice that my husband strives to be the man of God for me-which means he forgives me. And then together we have another opportunity to get it right.

Only you, dear reader, can know what this good and evil will look like in your own marriage. But my prayer today is that we will seek God’s face and strength for this monumental daily opportunity.

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working willingly {4}

by tascha

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Proverbs 31:13

The main emphasis of this verse is the this lady works WILLINGLY with her hands.

This thought encompasses many of the following verses and is the heart issue of them.

Though we will look at her specific tasks, the BIG issue is that she is willing to do what needs to be done during the different seasons of her family’s life.

Seeking wool and flax implies that she either gathers the raw materials to create fabric, or she acquired the fabrics needed to make clothing for her household. Linen comes from flax and was used for various undergarments, inner tunics, and lamp wicks. Flax seeds can also be ground and used in breads or can be eaten whole and are very nutritional [another topic]. Wool was used more for outer tunics which could also be used as a blanket on a cool night.

In thinking of these uses of flax and wool {and there are more!} we can see different responsibilities that this implies.

As a wife and mother it is my responsibility to

…clothe my family.

Whether I buy fabric and sew or purchase ready-made items, finding durable, modest, attractive clothing for my husband, myself, and our children is within my realm of duty. [This is not to say that my husband and said children have no say in their clothing!] Being frugal and finding deals, thrift shopping, and handing clothing down [or accepting second-hand clothing] all fit into this category.

…feed my family healthy foods.

[I am not legally qualified to speak of nutrition or recommend certain foods over others, but there are many resources online for studying it, and I have friends whose study I trust when they recommend certain plants for consumption.] You must rely on your own research for this.

Personally, I do try to have fresh fruits and veggies available for snacks, but more often find that frozen or canned are more in my price range, and simple cooking methods can elevate even canned peaches to a scrumptious dessert [with no added sugar!].

I use flax seed in my bread, and there are many other grains/seeds that can be added to flour to make bread more wholesome. Again, your own study must guide you in that.

…cover my family when it is cold and provide a light source when necessary.

Do we have enough blankets for the colder days? Is there an adequate light source to finish tasks or read a good book when the sun has gone to bed early?

[There are many other areas that could be discussed, but many of those are brought out in the next few verses and will be left to their own post.]

While it is truly {thankfully} not necessary that I herd sheep and grow/harvest flax to accomplish these tasks, it IS necessary that my heart is right in order that these tasks bring glory to God and cause my husband’s heart to safely trust in me.

Seeking his counsel and knowing his preference in any of these areas {I like his input on my own clothing as well as my children’s. To know what he likes and to try to accomplish that is doing GOOD to him.} is just another way of loving him.

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rejoicing in the future {16}

by tascha | 2 comments

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

Proverbs 31:25

I so enjoy simply breaking things down into the definitions of words to understand what is going on.

Strength: “the quality of being strong; physical strength; mental or emotional qualities necessary to deal with stressful situations; the capacity to withstand great force or pressure”

Honor: “high respect; adherence to what is right; fulfill and obligation” …also called an “ornament”

There were a couple other phrases, but these were the gist of them all.

I think we might all agree that “clothing” is something we wear. My husband once preached about putting on our spiritual ‘underclothes’–that was quite interesting.

But we ARE to put on things that are not just physical. So “the mental qualities necessary to deal with stressful situations” could be something we are to actually, consciously wear… spiritually.

And since we’ve already talked about what she might wear physically, I think I’ll focus on the spiritual dressing here.

I must put on strength. Clothing is not usually something worn for days on end without changing out of an old and into a new item. So, applying that spiritually, we need to put ON a new “strength” every day.

I must put on honor. We’ve talked a little about respect. We must show respect towards our husband, as this is God’s plan for marriage. And when we “adhere to right and fulfill obligations” in our daily lives, we show the respect we have towards God and His plans.

Each day this “ornament” must be renewed. We must choose this fulfillment of obligations, this adherence to what we know is right. This becomes an ornament of our spirit.

These thoughts are rather weighty. This is purely a heart issue, but it will manifest itself in actions and deeds, in our speech and dress, in our attitude and reactions.

And as the verse continues… our rejoicing will come.

It may not happen the same day we chose to do right when it is the most difficult thing to do.

But it will come. {Remember that God specializes in the impossible.}

It may be a year or even a decade later. Or it may not happen until our own children are fully grown and we see them making right choices, because we did.

There may even be sometimes that our rejoicing does not come until heaven, with eternal rejoicing!

But our hearts will know rejoicing in time to come, because God tells us it will be so. So, let us put on strength {His strength!} and put on honor, daily… even hourly, and expect the rejoicing to come later.