[day 19] PFHY: be a good father {or prepare his heart}

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Even if you and your husband do not have children, praying for his heart to be prepared is still a good thing! Even praying that he would be a godly example towards children that are in your life-extended family, church, etc. is good.heart

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Colossians 3:21

1-Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2- And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also. 2 Timothy 2:1-2

And one thing I had to learn as a mother is… just because he does things DIFFERENTLY does not make them WRONG 🙂 Being a good father is not about how they dress or bathe them, but that they love and discipline them in godliness.

praying for husband

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but what does it mean?

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but what does it mean?

I know, from working with my own children {as well as with some adults that grew up with no basic knowledge of God}, that sometimes the terms we use leave our children {and others} completely lost and confused… but often not able to articulate what they do not understand.

A few of these questions can be as basic as:

1. What does it mean to be “saved”?

and

2. How does Jesus come into our hearts?

I originally wrote about those [here].

We often throw around this term of being saved… and having Everlasting Life. But what does that mean? Even now, as a saved, “born again” adult… could you explain it?

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my precious girls… in 2011

Jesus will only save you or come into your heart if you ask Him to.

But how?

Children are often quite literal. 🙂 Is there a little chair inside our bodies that Jesus will come sit in?

No, we understand Jesus wants to become a part of our life and help us in our mind to choose to do right instead of wrong; He wants to help us become more like Himself: full of love for God and others.

But often those unfamiliar with God and church and Christianity do not understand that.

Very simply: we can teach our children that He can help us think good thoughts and be nice to others. He can help us be strong enough to help others {such as a younger brother or sister} choose to do right, too.

…Read a little more about explaining these terms.

some Scripture reading: John 3:1-21 and Acts 2:21 & 10:13; 16:30-33.

some day they will need to KNOW how to hold God's hand

some day they will need to KNOW how to hold God’s hand

More questions answered to come!

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first-things-first

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first-things-first

 

As my older children get older and my younger ones come up, I have come to realize that I forget.

I forget that my youngest hasn’t fully learned/comprehended things my older ones know. I realize that I sometimes take for granted that all my kids understand just because some of them do.

I know I only have 4 children, but with 7 years between the oldest and youngest… I often forget that I’ve not been as consistent at teaching my youngest. {does that make any sense?} [My husband is much better at teaching them!]

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from Deuteronomy 11:

18 ~Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. 19~And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 20~And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates:

We canNOT stop teaching our children truths of God…

NOT STOP!

This blog was born out of a desire to share, with whomever wanted to read, things I was learning as a young wife and mother…

And this is one thing I’m learning:

Do NOT stop reminding your children the truths of God,
even if they “already know that, mom.”

I’m glad my mom didn’t stop, even when I felt she was redundant {because don’t all 14 year olds know everything?} 🙂

Several years ago, I found several blogs that were aged women sharing truths they learned …[as Scripture commands].

And I was so grateful!

And I want to share what I am learning, as I learn it, so maybe I won’t forget it 🙂

Now that I’ve begun Bible Journaling, I have a renewed spirit to learn and teach and grow!

So, back to first-things-first: WE [parents] MUST teach our children: GOD IS. 

Our children will not automatically know God
just because we do.

He is real.

Jesusis

This FACT is a fundamental of our faith in Him.

It’s the FIRST…

 

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my split personality: called {motherhood}

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This is not exactly a “spiritually or Biblically-inspired” post.

It is more a “I wonder if anyone else has ever thought about it this way” post.

And it’s been sitting in my “draft” folder for a while now…

I had a conversation with a sweet new friend last night that prompted me to truly articulate this thought I’ve had for a while now:

Somedays, I truly feel as though motherhood may have given me a split personality {and I am not trying to belittle those with actual mental disabilities here!}.

kids

I realize my children need ME.

But they need ME differently among them. They are each so individual and unique. Yes, I must be consistent in rules and discipline; but things they need, things they forget and need me to remind them of, things they have not yet learned, are ALL different for each one. 

My poor oldest child, she is nearly a young woman, and yet I continue to remind her of things that, really, only her younger sisters need help with. I know that frustrates her. She’s so grown up and the others are still “babes”.

My middle daughter has some food and environmental allergies that sometimes means our whole family just misses out on stuff like… peanut-butter pie… because I just can’t chance it being around and her wanting a taste or being sad that she can’t have it. And she’s trying to grow up as quickly as her big sister, but she really isn’t there yet.

My  third… a whirlwind of a girl. She plunges head-long into EVERYTHING she does. She has gusto! 🙂 And thinks very little, if ever, before acting. But her little heart is so tender and pliable, I must be restrained when calling a warning at her to not sit on her brother, or some other situation that could cause harm to one or multiple people. lol. She will just loose it, and the whole situation will disintegrate before our eyes.

My youngest is a boy. After 3 girls we have a boy. ‘Nuff said.

C.mommy

To those with more children, I am not trying to ‘prove’ my life is as hard or harder than yours… just stating some observations. 🙂

And then, my husband needs a WIFE, not a mother {he already has an awesome mother!}. And apart from “child of God”-which is my identity at its core- this is where I find my primary role in life – to be the best wife for him. If I’m an awesome mom and a lousy wife, I’ve not become what God created me to be!

And I do have a few friends… who like to speak to me as adult in my own right, not as a mother or a wife….

And so, maybe this is a little bit to be encouraging spiritually

… I need God! You need God! 🙂

If God does not help us in relating to all the most important people in our lives, we are a people most undone!

us

If I cannot be Christlike to my own family, how can I expect those outside my family to see Christ in me?

I’m not saying I loose it every day, but there is at least a portion of most days where I struggle really hard not to! And there have even been a few hours all strung together that I feel I {MIGHT} have it all together–HAHAHAHA. nope. not really!

And only bending my knee before His throne will help me be “ME”–a child of God–to those around me, whether I feel SPLIT or not. 🙂

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when life hands you {crazy}

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when life hands you {crazy}

Right about one year ago I wrote this post… but it never got published. It was raw. It was typed out in frustration.

But when I came across it yesterday, all I could see was that it was REAL… authentic feelings that I now know many moms feel.

And it’s not a sin to BE frustrated-only to allow it to control you.

The ages and such are a little different now, but the truth still applies… a whole year later:

…when life hands you crazy:

I know many families with more than 4 children who seem to really have it all together.

And I know families with less than 4 children who seem to, well, NOT have it all together.

Me? OH! Our family has 4 children… and definitely do NOT have it all together!

thanksgiving.

{but together, we have it all :)}

 

But, on occasion, we give the illusion that it’s all dandy. [hehe]

I have found that life just dishes out crazy… like there’s not tomorrow! {and there may not be}

So what’s a girl to do when the crazy just keeps coming?

The answer might sound difficult, but it’s really just a mindset:

EMBRACE IT.

 Welcome crazy to just come and have a seat right next to you!

 Crazy comes

and your baby has an outfit-dirtying-blowout 5 minutes before you are supposed to leave for school… go ahead and cry. We’ve all been there!

Crazy comes

and your already-trained-toddler wets herself in the bathroom… at church…

Crazy comes

and your 3rd grader reminds you of her project that was not finished but is due… today.
Apologize after you loose it, and take a few moments to remind her of her own responsibility… and that childhood is the time to learn it.

Crazy comes

when your baby breaks out in hives caused by an allergic reaction to his meds…

…and your 5 year old breaks out in something… caused by a-still-unknown-source…

…and your husband’s asthma [which has been very mild for years] starts acting up daily and your heart is terrified of the struggle to breathe…

…and you have friends and far-away-family struggling with things that make a soul yearn for the Lord to just return and take us all away…

And then you remember there are those who are not yet ready for that.

 And so, crazy strikes yet again and you realize that life is going on… for now… and HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH CRAZY?

oh, right… EMBRACE it.

The days I handle the crazy the best are the days I wake up and struggle to get out of bed... And my 5 year old gets up in a grumpy-funk, and I snap at her at 6:35 am…..

and I see the hurt in her face, in the face of her older sister sitting there listening to it…

 and the Lord catches me in my fall.

I realize crazy has come yet another day into my home.

 I stop.

I hug that 5 year old squirming her grumps away.

And I whisper a prayer that sounds something like… “oh God, please help me!”

I speak an apology to my babies and coax some laughter out of their little bodies.

because those are the days I am forced to keep muttering… “Lord, make me love with your love and make me speak with your words and make me touch with your embrace…” all day long.

kids2

 

Right about one year ago I wrote this post… but it never got published. It was raw. It was typed out in frustration.

But when I came across it yesterday, all I could see was that it was REAL… authentic feelings that I now know many moms feel.

And it’s not a sin to BE frustrated-only to allow it to control you.

The ages and such are a little different now, but the truth still applies… a whole year later:

…when life hands you crazy:

I know many families with more than 4 children who seem to really have it all together.

And I know families with less than 4 children who seem to, well, NOT have it all together.

Me? OH! Our family has 4 children… and definitely do NOT have it all together!

thanksgiving.

{but together, we have it all :)}

 

But, on occasion, we give the illusion that it’s all dandy. [hehe]

I have found that life just dishes out crazy… like there’s not tomorrow! {and there may not be}

So what’s a girl to do when the crazy just keeps coming?

The answer might sound difficult, but it’s really just a mindset:

EMBRACE IT.

 Welcome crazy to just come and have a seat right next to you!

 Crazy comes

and your baby has an outfit-dirtying-blowout 5 minutes before you are supposed to leave for school… go ahead and cry. We’ve all been there!

Crazy comes

and your already-trained-toddler wets herself in the bathroom… at church…

Crazy comes

and your 3rd grader reminds you of her project that was not finished but is due… today.
Apologize after you loose it, and take a few moments to remind her of her own responsibility… and that childhood is the time to learn it.

Crazy comes

when your baby breaks out in hives caused by an allergic reaction to his meds…

…and your 5 year old breaks out in something… caused by a-still-unknown-source…

…and your husband’s asthma [which has been very mild for years] starts acting up daily and your heart is terrified of the struggle to breathe…

…and you have friends and far-away-family struggling with things that make a soul yearn for the Lord to just return and take us all away…

And then you remember there are those who are not yet ready for that.

 And so, crazy strikes yet again and you realize that life is going on… for now… and HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH CRAZY?

oh, right… EMBRACE it.

The days I handle the crazy the best are the days I wake up and struggle to get out of bed... And my 5 year old gets up in a grumpy-funk, and I snap at her at 6:35 am…..

and I see the hurt in her face, in the face of her older sister sitting there listening to it…

 and the Lord catches me in my fall.

I realize crazy has come yet another day into my home.

 I stop.

I hug that 5 year old squirming her grumps away.

And I whisper a prayer that sounds something like… “oh God, please help me!”

I speak an apology to my babies and coax some laughter out of their little bodies.

because those are the days I am forced to keep muttering… “Lord, make me love with your love and make me speak with your words and make me touch with your embrace…” all day long.

kids2

 

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wearing Daddy’s shoes

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Today I am posting over at Living on PB&J:wearing daddys shoes

With Father’s Day just behind us, I was looking through some photos and found the one above….

My little man just turned 2 {on our 10th anniversary!}.

And he LOVES his Daddy!!!

And his Daddy IS pretty awesome. {yes, I am biased…. :) }

And some day… my little man will be a LOT like his Daddy.

Now, this could become a post TO Dads. But in my observations of families around me, I have found that the Moms have this crazy influence over what children think of their Dads.

So, I just want to say a word of encouragement to all Moms, everywhere….

[read the rest over here…]

nourishing a good foundation

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Friday I posted over at Living on PB&J:

I have written on this topic before, but it has been re-challenged to me recently -by my own life.

Jesusis

We all want our children to accept Jesus for their salvation! But before they can know about salvation we must teach them about God.

All men are born with the knowledge of God written in their heart [Proverbs 14:1, Romans 2:14-16].

But this does not mean our children will automatically know God.

Man is born a sinner. Even as a babe, we are all sinners.

If you have children, you cannot dispute this fact. A child left to himself brings shame on his mother [Proverbs 29:15].

Since the same heart that knows there is a God also contains sin, the knowledge of God must be cultivated to become knowing God.

People do not know who He is without being taught. Yes, if a lost man seeks for God, God will not hide himself [Jeremiah 29:13]. But that does not preclude our responsibility as parents.

We must teach our children who God is.

CONTINUE reading over at Living on PB&J…

PBandJ

a mother’s law {day 1}

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My son, hear the instruction of thy father, 

and forsake not the law of thy mother: 

For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, 

and chains about thy neck.

Proverbs 1:8, 9 

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cute?

 

When I read these verses this morning, I was struck by them from a different angle than I have been in the past.

Normally, I think:

these are for me as a child–I should not forsake the spiritual upbringing my parents gave me. I think of children in general, even my own children, and how they need to learn to listen and obey-and I must teach them this.

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oh MY!

But this morning, I noticed the words the law of thy mother

-not that children should listen and obey but what they should listen to and obey. 

As the “mother” here, what is my law?

Law means regulations, standards, rules, guidelines, doctrine.

And my law as mother should line up with God’s Word in principles and doctrine. 

 My law should be the same as Jesus command in Matthew 22:36-40: Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

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Many of my 31 days will probably come from the Proverb for the day because I decided that this month I wanted to get back into the habit of reading a Proverb-a-day. But we also have special services this month in our church… and the Lord often speaks to me through situations that arise with my children!