by tascha |
This is not exactly a “spiritually or Biblically-inspired” post.
It is more a “I wonder if anyone else has ever thought about it this way” post.
And it’s been sitting in my “draft” folder for a while now…
I had a conversation with a sweet new friend last night that prompted me to truly articulate this thought I’ve had for a while now:
Somedays, I truly feel as though motherhood may have given me a split personality {and I am not trying to belittle those with actual mental disabilities here!}.
I realize my children need ME.
But they need ME differently among them. They are each so individual and unique. Yes, I must be consistent in rules and discipline; but things they need, things they forget and need me to remind them of, things they have not yet learned, are ALL different for each one.
My poor oldest child, she is nearly a young woman, and yet I continue to remind her of things that, really, only her younger sisters need help with. I know that frustrates her. She’s so grown up and the others are still “babes”.
My middle daughter has some food and environmental allergies that sometimes means our whole family just misses out on stuff like… peanut-butter pie… because I just can’t chance it being around and her wanting a taste or being sad that she can’t have it. And she’s trying to grow up as quickly as her big sister, but she really isn’t there yet.
My third… a whirlwind of a girl. She plunges head-long into EVERYTHING she does. She has gusto! 🙂 And thinks very little, if ever, before acting. But her little heart is so tender and pliable, I must be restrained when calling a warning at her to not sit on her brother, or some other situation that could cause harm to one or multiple people. lol. She will just loose it, and the whole situation will disintegrate before our eyes.
My youngest is a boy. After 3 girls we have a boy. ‘Nuff said.
To those with more children, I am not trying to ‘prove’ my life is as hard or harder than yours… just stating some observations. 🙂
And then, my husband needs a WIFE, not a mother {he already has an awesome mother!}. And apart from “child of God”-which is my identity at its core- this is where I find my primary role in life – to be the best wife for him. If I’m an awesome mom and a lousy wife, I’ve not become what God created me to be!
And I do have a few friends… who like to speak to me as adult in my own right, not as a mother or a wife….
And so, maybe this is a little bit to be encouraging spiritually
… I need God! You need God! 🙂
If God does not help us in relating to all the most important people in our lives, we are a people most undone!
If I cannot be Christlike to my own family, how can I expect those outside my family to see Christ in me?
I’m not saying I loose it every day, but there is at least a portion of most days where I struggle really hard not to! And there have even been a few hours all strung together that I feel I {MIGHT} have it all together–HAHAHAHA. nope. not really!
And only bending my knee before His throne will help me be “ME”–a child of God–to those around me, whether I feel SPLIT or not. 🙂
by tascha |
Last month I spoke in a Ladies’ Meeting our church has for it’s ladies to get together for fellowship. I have no photos to make it “pretty.” And it is rather lengthy, but I pray these thoughts will be a blessing to someone!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Living Intentionally ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One of the hardest elements of life in general, for me, has been finding purpose in the mundane. For myself, and many women, that looks like washing dishes and treating stained laundry–after it’s already been washed & dried–oh MY!
For others it may includes driving in rush hour or mindlessly typing memos.
This learning to live deliberately has been a struggle for me since before I even realized it was something I needed to learn. It is LIVING GRACE.
And I have found it is something that must be TAUGHT to my children also! If we have no purpose… well, we have no purpose. Life seems pointless and boredom [or worse] ensues.
As an intentional woman, living deliberately as a Christian lady, it is as important that I scrub the bathtub with a song in my heart as it is that I hand the cashier a tract and invite her to a service.
There are several references to being PURPOSED or DETERMINED in what we do in the Bible. I only wrote out a few. {at the end}
It is imperative that we make the decision each day to live this gift we have called life intentionally, deliberately, with purpose, allowing GRACE to perfect our patience.
We must make a plan-even if it must be changed to accommodate life. We must reason and be thoughtful about the activities of our days.
When we hurry and scurry through appointments and activities, especially with our family/children, we miss the opportunities for life-touching. I cannot touch your life if my mind is already finished with my task and my body is rushing to catch up. Yet that is how I often approach simple responsibilities.
I think we all know what that feels like.
And this life-touching, caused by intentional living, is where a full Christian life becomes accessible. To have your life impact another–for the better– is what being Christlike is about.
And it requires that we slow down.
We have no idea whose life we may touch. Having a smile on my face while scurrying through Walmart in record time, with 4 kids in tow, may be just the encouragement another young lady expecting her first needs to get through the day.
I know it would have given me encouragement!!
Saying a kind ‘hello’ to someone we pass as we scurry to an appointment for which we are late may be the difference between someone continuing a search for ‘meaning’ -God- or just giving up.
We cannot expect those around us to know or understand the hurry of our schedule. We must speak words of edifying so as to minister GRACE to the hearers. Ephesians 4:29
And I can tell you from experience that those ideas are not just a figment of my imagination. Because *I* have been on the –other– side of similar scenarios. [I tend to think some of you have been also-needing encouragement, but simply not finding it anywhere.]
I am easily influenced to the negative. I must PURPOSE to find the positive and look for God’s hand… or I do not see it.
I must look for His Grace, on purpose.
And this is one way the Lord grabbed a hold of my own heart –this being deliberate. For me it has recently been specifically in the area of Motherhood. When I do not purpose to stop a task and spend a moment connecting with my child, that moment is lost, and I did not redeem it. It was a coupon that expired before I had a chance to use it.
Only, it is one of the most valuable coupons ever given.
For myself, using these coupons and redeeming my time has meant that I realize the relative insignificance of ALL the dishes being clean in the next 5 minutes compared to leaning down to hug my 4 yo, and look her in the eye as she tells me a story or asks me to “taste this, mommy.” Maybe not EVERY time, but at least 4-5 times–she cooks all day long! 🙂
It also means dropping to the floor, on purpose, several times during the day–thinking, “when was the last time I sat on the floor and talked to my baby-man?”–and sit on the floor and look into his sweet little face and let him gibber TO me instead of AT me, for just a minute.
Literally, he will be over it in 60-90 seconds.
It means paying attention when the older 2 trip over each other to tell me of their day when they get home.
It means stopping supper prep and turning to fully embrace my husband when he walks in the door.
But the Lord has also dealt specifically with womanhood and Christianity in my heart… and their relationship to each other– but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:6
As ladies, we ARE the “softer” soul in people’s lives. We often create peace… or chaos… just by being present. We were created to help, teach and comfort {whether you ever marry does not change what is woven into the very fiber of our being as females; and no matter your “temperament,” you were created to help and teach and comfort}.
I think sometimes this desire gets squashed early in this world in which we live. And that creates chaos. We were made to be the voice of encouragement, while men are more often the voice of reason… since encouraging means emotions… and we are also emotional creatures.
Intentionally being a Christian and a woman… is a tall order. We have to look for, deliberately seek out on purpose, people that need help and encouragement. We have to premeditate on how we can use an opportunity for teaching truth kindly, to our children if we are mothers; to other children in our care if we are an authority for them; even to other adults, when the Spirit prompts a gentle word. Speaking the truth in love… which shows a maturity in Christ, and aids in the maturity of another.
Sometimes, I have to throw away produce. I buy it with the intention of eating well that week… and the next week I find it sitting on the bottom shelf completely uneaten… and inedible. Because I did not deliberately prepare and then eat the food, it was wasted.
And when we do not deliberately use our moments for SOMETHING {and even sleep is meaningful! periods of rest can and should be planned or even just grabbed spontaneously when needed!} BUT when we do not deliberately use our moments for SOMETHING, our day becomes as those fruits and vegetables that I throw out in a soggy mess.
And I have more than plenty soggy messes accumulated in my short days as wife and mother and woman.
But God—-He does not condemn my whole being to the refuse because of it.
It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
He gently makes each day new. Each day is whole with the opportunity to live it on purpose, taking —taking, grabbing hold of--the moments He sends our way.
Embracing them and touching the lives around us. Not just a casual brush, but a deliberate, intentional impact on a person… specific and on purpose.
This purpose, this determination, this deliberate life lived FOR GOD, lived for LIFE TOUCHING… will change so much about how our days play out. It changes attitude. It changes dress. It changes words spoken. It changes music listened to.
It simply changes who we are and how we live each day.
It is exhausting, but My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9
And when we really just do not know what to ask for or how to pray, the Lord will help us…. Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26,27
PURPOSED:
Psalms 17:3
Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.
Daniel 1:8
But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.
Acts 19:21
After these things were ended, Paul purposed in the spirit, when he had passed through Macedonia and Achaia, to go to Jerusalem, saying, After I have been there, I must also see Rome.
Acts 20:3
And there abode three months. And when the Jews laid wait for him, as he was about to sail into Syria, he purposed to return through Macedonia.
Romans 1:13
Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles.
Ephesians 1:9
Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:
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Let’s be a BLESSING on PURPOSE!
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I would love to connect with you on facebook!
Come over and chat. I am on at least once a day.
by tascha
I try to link or post something on facebook a few times a week and if you come to the homepage here {those reading via their e-mail}, you can see what was recently posted on my facebook page on the sidebar!
But for those who may not do that often, here are a few thoughts and links from the recent days:
~~I shared a post from Time-Warp-Wife : 
–an excellent post about staying involved in his life!
{and how sometimes, WE just need to make the first move!}
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~~a status update from Monday:
**** note to self: never assume that just because you no longer see the food it is actually eaten…. just found a breadstick amidst some books on my bookshelf. the last time we had breadsticks was over a week ago. haha {saving for later?—my children are crazy :)}
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~~shared this photo from another page:
pretty much … :/ Though I add some cleaner to the water all over the place before I give it a good wiping on my hands & knees.
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~~And finally, a great post by Mrs. Peggy over on
A Greater Respect
If you are on facebook, I would love to have you come over and “like” my page…
by tascha |
Some times days just run together so that weeks become months before you even realize it.
Birthdays come and go.
Songs are sung.
School activities get attended.
Church services are sat through.
Laundry is washed.
Dishes are cleaned.
Floors are vacuumed.
And yet, I get up and look around and think:
“What in the world have I accomplished?”
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Only one life will soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.
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Some times this truth is a conviction. What AM I doing for Christ?
And other times it is such a comfort…. I am {attempting to!} teaching my children to love and obey God and become responsible people, so that possibly they can effect a difference in the lives they come across–even while still children.
And that will last.
Some days, I freely admit, discipline and instruction are born out of frustration and not exactly done lovingly. Those days drive me to my knees so that other days become more peaceful, though not less hectic. {Sadly, many times it takes those frustrating days to remind me that I cannot do this wife and mother thing on my own!}
Remember, dear lady, no matter if you are a mother staying home to care for your children or a woman who must go out into the world to earn a wage, if you are doing what you do for Christ, your labor will not be in vain when the time comes to face the Lord.
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Let’s connect on FACEBOOK!
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I’m also on Instagram!
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and I’m on Twitter!
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by tascha |
I have had many thoughts race through my mind about the horrors of last Friday. The tragedy has basically been all some people have talked about.
In my heart, the Lord has simply re-informed several truths that I wish to share:
* Safety truly is of the Lord. Even if mommas and daddies had been at that school, no one can stand in front of a bullet unscathed. The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the LORD. Proverbs 21:31 {But I am fully amenable to civilians having weapons at their disposal. Gun control, as my Granny says, is using two hands.}
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*There is sin on every hand. We must be spreading the Gospel, and we must do it with an intensity of purpose. How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? Romans 10:14
*Life is precious. ALL life. And if this were truly such a tragedy {which it IS} , then what would you call the millions of babies aborted in the past 50 years? And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Luke 18:15,16
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*Children are a gift from the Lord. {All children.} And we must love on them and teach and train them and pray and weep over them before the Almighty God. They are His. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. -Psalms 127:3
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*This very moment of my life is not guaranteed to finish ticking before I breathe my last breath and meet my Savior face to face. What am I doing to be ready for that? Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. -James 4:14
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*There is a time for weeping. Now is that time. There is a grieving process that must be finished. And no two people live this process the same. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance… Ecclesiastes 3:4
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*But when the grief has subsided {and that may be a longer process than someone outside of the situation thinks necessary…}, the choice must be made between living a broken life or resolving to press on. There are no other options. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect:…but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth … I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14 [portions]
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Souls touched by this tragedy must be allowed to grieve. They need to be extended grace for a time of healing.
The rest of us need to be resolved to make each day matter for the Lord’s kingdom and create precious memories with our loved ones!
![me & my babies [2014]](http://www.designing31.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/ress.sun_.me_.jpg)
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