when life hands you {crazy}

when life hands you {crazy}

Right about one year ago I wrote this post… but it never got published. It was raw. It was typed out in frustration.

But when I came across it yesterday, all I could see was that it was REALauthentic feelings that I now know many moms feel.

And it’s not a sin to BE frustrated-only to allow it to control you.

The ages and such are a little different now, but the truth still applies… a whole year later:

…when life hands you crazy:

I know many families with more than 4 children who seem to really have it all together.

And I know families with less than 4 children who seem to, well, NOT have it all together.

Me? OH! Our family has 4 children… and definitely do NOT have it all together!

thanksgiving.

{but together, we have it all :)}

 

But, on occasion, we give the illusion that it’s all dandy. [hehe]

I have found that life just dishes out crazy… like there’s not tomorrow! {and there may not be}

So what’s a girl to do when the crazy just keeps coming?

The answer might sound difficult, but it’s really just a mindset:

EMBRACE IT.

 Welcome crazy to just come and have a seat right next to you!

 Crazy comes

and your baby has an outfit-dirtying-blowout 5 minutes before you are supposed to leave for school… go ahead and cry. We’ve all been there!

Crazy comes

and your already-trained-toddler wets herself in the bathroom… at church…

Crazy comes

and your 3rd grader reminds you of her project that was not finished but is due… today.
Apologize after you loose it, and take a few moments to remind her of her own responsibility… and that childhood is the time to learn it.

Crazy comes

when your baby breaks out in hives caused by an allergic reaction to his meds…

…and your 5 year old breaks out in something… caused by a-still-unknown-source…

…and your husband’s asthma [which has been very mild for years] starts acting up daily and your heart is terrified of the struggle to breathe…

…and you have friends and far-away-family struggling with things that make a soul yearn for the Lord to just return and take us all away…

And then you remember there are those who are not yet ready for that.

 And so, crazy strikes yet again and you realize that life is going on… for now… and HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH CRAZY?

oh, right… EMBRACE it.

The days I handle the crazy the best are the days I wake up and struggle to get out of bed... And my 5 year old gets up in a grumpy-funk, and I snap at her at 6:35 am…..

and I see the hurt in her face, in the face of her older sister sitting there listening to it…

 and the Lord catches me in my fall.

I realize crazy has come yet another day into my home.

 I stop.

I hug that 5 year old squirming her grumps away.

And I whisper a prayer that sounds something like… “oh God, please help me!”

I speak an apology to my babies and coax some laughter out of their little bodies.

because those are the days I am forced to keep muttering… “Lord, make me love with your love and make me speak with your words and make me touch with your embrace…” all day long.

kids2

 

Right about one year ago I wrote this post… but it never got published. It was raw. It was typed out in frustration.

But when I came across it yesterday, all I could see was that it was REALauthentic feelings that I now know many moms feel.

And it’s not a sin to BE frustrated-only to allow it to control you.

The ages and such are a little different now, but the truth still applies… a whole year later:

…when life hands you crazy:

I know many families with more than 4 children who seem to really have it all together.

And I know families with less than 4 children who seem to, well, NOT have it all together.

Me? OH! Our family has 4 children… and definitely do NOT have it all together!

thanksgiving.

{but together, we have it all :)}

 

But, on occasion, we give the illusion that it’s all dandy. [hehe]

I have found that life just dishes out crazy… like there’s not tomorrow! {and there may not be}

So what’s a girl to do when the crazy just keeps coming?

The answer might sound difficult, but it’s really just a mindset:

EMBRACE IT.

 Welcome crazy to just come and have a seat right next to you!

 Crazy comes

and your baby has an outfit-dirtying-blowout 5 minutes before you are supposed to leave for school… go ahead and cry. We’ve all been there!

Crazy comes

and your already-trained-toddler wets herself in the bathroom… at church…

Crazy comes

and your 3rd grader reminds you of her project that was not finished but is due… today.
Apologize after you loose it, and take a few moments to remind her of her own responsibility… and that childhood is the time to learn it.

Crazy comes

when your baby breaks out in hives caused by an allergic reaction to his meds…

…and your 5 year old breaks out in something… caused by a-still-unknown-source…

…and your husband’s asthma [which has been very mild for years] starts acting up daily and your heart is terrified of the struggle to breathe…

…and you have friends and far-away-family struggling with things that make a soul yearn for the Lord to just return and take us all away…

And then you remember there are those who are not yet ready for that.

 And so, crazy strikes yet again and you realize that life is going on… for now… and HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH CRAZY?

oh, right… EMBRACE it.

The days I handle the crazy the best are the days I wake up and struggle to get out of bed... And my 5 year old gets up in a grumpy-funk, and I snap at her at 6:35 am…..

and I see the hurt in her face, in the face of her older sister sitting there listening to it…

 and the Lord catches me in my fall.

I realize crazy has come yet another day into my home.

 I stop.

I hug that 5 year old squirming her grumps away.

And I whisper a prayer that sounds something like… “oh God, please help me!”

I speak an apology to my babies and coax some laughter out of their little bodies.

because those are the days I am forced to keep muttering… “Lord, make me love with your love and make me speak with your words and make me touch with your embrace…” all day long.

kids2

 

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when your world is turned… upside down

When I was was young there were a few circumstances that occurred that turned my world on its head.

Now that yet another situation has turned my world upside down and been the cause of confusion, I realize that:

even as a child I was learning some lessons about God,

about life, about human nature… and myself.

purple flower

I may speak about the other types of lessons sometime, but for today I want to share a few lessons I have learned about God… when my world seems turned completely bottom-side-up.

**The verses often quoted from Romans 8 are not idle platitudes:

26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered…. These past few weeks I have been so grateful to have this comfort. When my heart is overwhelmed, The Spirit of God intercedes FOR ME at the Throne of Grace!

27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.And God listens.

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.… I have seen it before, and I know I will see it again: Even when it seems that God could not work a situation out, I turn around and His name is being glorified and the darkest hour IS “just before the dawn.” While I do not yet see the rays of a new day pouring over the horizon of my heart, I am just as confident in them as I am of my salvation!

29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.… and “bad things happen” because this world is a sinful place, but God uses circumstances to mold my life to be more like Christ.

**It is not about my supposed position of service or paid ministry that makes me useful to God. It is my heart being conformed to the image of His Son, so that I may be counted among the “firstborn” of God.

yellow daisy

**It amazes me to watch how God uses us, sinful creatures, to accomplish His will, giving Himself supernatural Glory and causing His Name to be praised!  

Verse 35 asks who could separate us, His own, from the love of Christ... and the answer in all of us should be the same as the apostle’s:

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There are others hurting and questioning over some current situations in the life of my family. I give them these verses from II Thessalonians 1:

11 Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power: 12 That the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and ye in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

**Remember that God has called each of His children to proclaim His Gospel to the lost. That is our highest calling!

pink tip rose-2

And I pray that those hurting and confused over issues would ask for Lord to **remove all secondary causes** -meaning the human instruments-

and believe that God IS in control.

He wants us each to learn something,

**and the ultimate Glory is for God’s name to be praised in your own heart and life, even through this.

.

One of the hardest and yet most rewarding things we can learn in the Christian life is it TRUST GOD…

…we are not commanded to trust any man or the wisdom of men.

Only trust God.

He is the only one that loved us enough to take the punishment of our sin upon His own body to pay for it.

 

In Proverbs 3 we are told:

3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: …bind mercy AND truth about they neck. Often truth seems to call for judgment,

**but God asks us to COMBINE truth WITH mercy.

4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man… and this combining truth with mercy {goodness, faithfulness, kindness} will bring us favor with man-this is a good thing.

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding

**our own understanding will fail us.

blue morning glory

Our own heart is full of wickedness. ALL men’s hearts are full of wickedness.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy pathsBut God can and will direct the path our lives take when we acknowledge Him.

7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil

We must not seek a wisdom from our own experiences

…or from a man.

This wisdom is faulty and flawed by sin.

Only fear the Lord. Only live your life as far from evil as you can… 

8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones….

and  your soul will be healthy and ready to stand before Him…

 …even if your heart is breaking. 

blackeyed susan

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my “to do” list… and yours

my “to do” list… and yours

I do not normally post on Saturdays… and definitely not this late 🙂 but this post was so strong in my heart that I felt compelled to go ahead and post it. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It is overwhelming: this day-to-day of being a wife and mother, a sister and daughter, a friend, a mentor.

There is pressure from the world to do-all, be-all, have-all…. and if you don’t… well, I won’t go there.

There is pressure from within ourselves, and sometimes even from within our circle of friends, to do-it-right, to-make-it-look-good… and if there’s a crack in that mirage you’re selling to the public, the whole thing comes crashing down one day.

But do you know where none of that pressure originates?

None of that pressure originates from our Lord.

Yes, He does not want us living in filth… never cleaning our home or washing our clothing.

But neither does HE put this pressure into our lives to have this perfect pretense.

I am going to share a portion of a letter a dear friend of mine sent out a while back. She and her family are missionaries and wish to remain anonymous, but what she wrote really spoke to my spirit that day, and has helped me view certain situations very differently since.

I pray that it will be a blessing to you as well {italicized are my own comments}:

~~~~~

I have finally come to realize that in some areas of my life, I am a perfectionist.  Not in everything, but in things concerning my personal life, I try very hard to be perfect, redeeming the time, faithful, efficient, and frugal.  The only problem is that I can never quite reach my own expectations. {that is SO me!!}  I also have three children, which have an amazing way of bringing inefficiently to life. 🙂 {what truth! lol}  But during the past few weeks, as I have tried very hard to study [a new language], home-school my children, care for my home, and visit with new friends, my goal of being faithful, diligent, and efficient has brought me nothing but frustration and has robbed me of my joy. {I have experienced this so often. No one can BE everything all the time!}

And then I began to realize that my eyes were in the wrong place. {OH, my spirit smites me!} Hebrews tells us that we are to be “looking unto Jesus,” and, as I heard many times in college, my goal is to be like God, and nothing else.  Now my daily goal in life is to walk with Christ, moment by moment – following the gentle promptings of His Spirit.  That just might mean that instead of studying one evening, I may be praying for [my mission field], or reading a book to my children, or playing dolls with [my daughter].

Following Christ will not always follow my “to do list,” or line up with my priorities for the day {because sometimes I am so “goal oriented”}, or look the same as other believers {no 2 families are the same}, but it will bring me peace and rest, joy and comfort as I make God my goal, and let Him order my day.  As I come to rest in the fact that God desires for me to be faithful, to learn [a new language], to raise my children, to stand by my husband – I can trust Him to guide my steps each day to accomplish these things and much more, as I rely on His wisdom and not my own.

I recently came across the words to one of my favorite hymns, and this verse has become the song of my heart.

I could not do without Thee,
I cannot stand alone,
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own;
But Thou, beloved Savior,
Art all in all to me,
And weakness will be power
If leaning hard on Thee.

– Frances R. Haverg

I do not normally post on Saturdays... and definitely not this late :) but this post was so strong in my heart that I felt compelled to go ahead and post it. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It is overwhelming: this day-to-day of being a wife and mother, a sister and daughter, a friend, a mentor.

There is pressure from the world to do-all, be-all, have-all…. and if you don’t… well, I won’t go there.

There is pressure from within ourselves, and sometimes even from within our circle of friends, to do-it-right, to-make-it-look-good… and if there’s a crack in that mirage you’re selling to the public, the whole thing comes crashing down one day.

But do you know where none of that pressure originates?

None of that pressure originates from our Lord.

Yes, He does not want us living in filth… never cleaning our home or washing our clothing.

But neither does HE put this pressure into our lives to have this perfect pretense.

I am going to share a portion of a letter a dear friend of mine sent out a while back. She and her family are missionaries and wish to remain anonymous, but what she wrote really spoke to my spirit that day, and has helped me view certain situations very differently since.

I pray that it will be a blessing to you as well {italicized are my own comments}:

~~~~~

I have finally come to realize that in some areas of my life, I am a perfectionist.  Not in everything, but in things concerning my personal life, I try very hard to be perfect, redeeming the time, faithful, efficient, and frugal.  The only problem is that I can never quite reach my own expectations. {that is SO me!!}  I also have three children, which have an amazing way of bringing inefficiently to life. 🙂 {what truth! lol}  But during the past few weeks, as I have tried very hard to study [a new language], home-school my children, care for my home, and visit with new friends, my goal of being faithful, diligent, and efficient has brought me nothing but frustration and has robbed me of my joy. {I have experienced this so often. No one can BE everything all the time!}

And then I began to realize that my eyes were in the wrong place. {OH, my spirit smites me!} Hebrews tells us that we are to be “looking unto Jesus,” and, as I heard many times in college, my goal is to be like God, and nothing else.  Now my daily goal in life is to walk with Christ, moment by moment – following the gentle promptings of His Spirit.  That just might mean that instead of studying one evening, I may be praying for [my mission field], or reading a book to my children, or playing dolls with [my daughter].

Following Christ will not always follow my “to do list,” or line up with my priorities for the day {because sometimes I am so “goal oriented”}, or look the same as other believers {no 2 families are the same}, but it will bring me peace and rest, joy and comfort as I make God my goal, and let Him order my day.  As I come to rest in the fact that God desires for me to be faithful, to learn [a new language], to raise my children, to stand by my husband – I can trust Him to guide my steps each day to accomplish these things and much more, as I rely on His wisdom and not my own.

I recently came across the words to one of my favorite hymns, and this verse has become the song of my heart.

I could not do without Thee,
I cannot stand alone,
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own;
But Thou, beloved Savior,
Art all in all to me,
And weakness will be power
If leaning hard on Thee.

– Frances R. Haverg

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being on purpose

Last month I spoke in a Ladies’ Meeting our church has for it’s ladies to get together for fellowship. I have no photos to make it “pretty.” And it is rather lengthy, but I pray these thoughts will be a blessing to someone!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Living Intentionally ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One of the hardest elements of life in general, for me, has been finding purpose in the mundane. For myself, and many women, that looks like washing dishes and treating stained laundry–after it’s already been washed & dried–oh MY!

For others it may includes driving in rush hour or mindlessly typing memos.

This learning to live deliberately has been a struggle for me since before I even realized it was something I needed to learn. It is LIVING GRACE.

And I have found it is something that must be TAUGHT to my children also! If we have no purpose… well, we have no purpose. Life seems pointless and boredom [or worse] ensues.

As an intentional woman, living deliberately as a Christian lady, it is as important that I scrub the bathtub with a song in my heart as it is that I hand the cashier a tract and invite her to a service.

There are several references to being PURPOSED or DETERMINED in what we do in the Bible. I only wrote out a few. {at the end}

It is imperative that we make the decision each day to live this gift we have called life intentionally, deliberately, with purpose, allowing GRACE to perfect our patience.

We must make a plan-even if it must be changed to accommodate life. We must reason and be thoughtful about the activities of our days.

When we hurry and scurry through appointments and activities, especially with our family/children, we miss the opportunities for life-touching. I cannot touch your life if my mind is already finished with my task and my body is rushing to catch up. Yet that is how I often approach simple responsibilities.

I think we all know what that feels like.

And this life-touching, caused by intentional living, is where a full Christian life becomes accessible. To have your life impact another–for the better– is what being Christlike is about.

And it requires that we slow down.

We have no idea whose life we may touch. Having a smile on my face while scurrying through Walmart in record time, with 4 kids in tow, may be just the encouragement another young lady expecting her first needs to get through the day.

I know it would have given me encouragement!!

Saying a kind ‘hello’ to someone we pass as we scurry to an appointment for which we are late may be the difference between someone continuing a search for ‘meaning’ -God- or just giving up.

We cannot expect those around us to know or understand the hurry of our schedule. We must speak words of edifying so as to minister GRACE to the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

And I can tell you from experience that those ideas are not just a figment of my imagination. Because *I* have been on the –other– side of similar scenarios. [I tend to think some of you have been also-needing encouragement, but simply not finding it anywhere.]

I am easily influenced to the negative. I must PURPOSE to find the positive and look for God’s hand… or I do not see it.

I must look for His Grace, on purpose.

And this is one way the Lord grabbed a hold of my own heart –this  being deliberate. For me it has recently been specifically in the area of Motherhood. When I do not purpose to stop a task and spend a moment connecting with my child, that moment is lost, and I did not redeem it. It was a coupon that expired before I had a chance to use it.

Only, it is one of the most valuable coupons ever given.

For  myself, using these coupons and redeeming my time has meant that I realize the relative insignificance of ALL the dishes being clean in the next 5 minutes compared to leaning down to hug my 4 yo, and look her in the eye as she tells me a story or asks me to “taste this, mommy.” Maybe not EVERY time, but at least 4-5 times–she cooks all day long! 🙂

It also means dropping to the floor, on purpose, several times during the day–thinking, “when was the last time I sat on the floor and talked to my baby-man?”–and sit on the floor and look into his sweet little face and let him gibber TO me instead of AT me, for just a minute.

Literally, he will be over it in 60-90 seconds.

It means paying attention when the older 2 trip over each other to tell me of their day when they get home.

It means stopping supper prep and turning to fully embrace my husband when he walks in the door.

But the Lord has also dealt specifically with womanhood and Christianity in my heart… and their relationship to each other– but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:6

As ladies, we ARE the “softer” soul in people’s lives. We often create peace… or chaos… just by being present. We were created to help, teach and comfort {whether you ever marry does not change what is woven into the very fiber of our being as females; and no matter your “temperament,” you were created to help and teach and comfort}.

I think sometimes this desire gets squashed early in this world in which we live. And that creates chaos. We were made to be the voice of encouragement, while men are more often the voice of reason… since encouraging means emotions… and we are also emotional creatures.

Intentionally being a Christian and a woman… is a tall order. We have to look for, deliberately seek out on purpose, people that need help and encouragement. We have to premeditate on how we can use an opportunity for teaching truth kindly, to our children if we are mothers; to other children in our care if we are an authority for them; even to other adults, when the Spirit prompts a gentle word. Speaking the truth in love… which shows a maturity in Christ, and aids in the maturity of another.

Sometimes, I have to throw away produce. I buy it with the intention of eating well that week… and the next week I find it sitting on the bottom shelf completely uneaten… and inedible. Because I did not deliberately prepare and then eat the food, it was wasted.

And when we do not deliberately use our moments for SOMETHING {and even sleep is meaningful! periods of rest can and should be planned or even just grabbed spontaneously when needed!} BUT when we do not deliberately use our moments for SOMETHING, our day becomes as those fruits and vegetables that I throw out in a soggy mess.

And I have more than plenty soggy messes accumulated in my short days as wife and mother and woman.

But God—-He does not condemn my whole being to the refuse because of it.

It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

He gently makes each day new. Each day is whole with the opportunity to live it on purpose, taking —taking, grabbing hold of--the moments He sends our way.

Embracing them and touching the lives around us. Not just a casual brush, but a deliberate, intentional impact on a person… specific and on purpose.

This purpose, this determination, this deliberate life lived FOR GOD, lived for LIFE TOUCHING… will change so much about how our days play out. It changes attitude. It changes dress. It changes words spoken. It changes music listened to.

It simply changes who we are and how we live each day.

It is exhausting, but My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9

And when we really just do not know what to ask for or how to pray, the Lord will help us….   Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26,27

PURPOSED:
Psalms 17:3
Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.

Daniel 1:8
But Daniel purposed  in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.
 
Acts 19:21
After these things were ended,  Paul purposed in the spirit, when he had passed through Macedonia and Achaia, to go to Jerusalem, saying, After I have been there, I must also see Rome.

Acts 20:3
And there abode three months. And when the Jews laid wait for him, as he was about to sail into Syria, he purposed to return through Macedonia.

Romans 1:13
Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles.

Ephesians 1:9
Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:

~~~~~~~

Let’s be a BLESSING on PURPOSE!

~~~~~~~
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