my split personality: called {motherhood}
This is not exactly a “spiritually or Biblically-inspired” post.
It is more a “I wonder if anyone else has ever thought about it this way” post.
And it’s been sitting in my “draft” folder for a while now…
I had a conversation with a sweet new friend last night that prompted me to truly articulate this thought I’ve had for a while now:
Somedays, I truly feel as though motherhood may have given me a split personality {and I am not trying to belittle those with actual mental disabilities here!}.
I realize my children need ME.
But they need ME differently among them. They are each so individual and unique. Yes, I must be consistent in rules and discipline; but things they need, things they forget and need me to remind them of, things they have not yet learned, are ALL different for each one.
My poor oldest child, she is nearly a young woman, and yet I continue to remind her of things that, really, only her younger sisters need help with. I know that frustrates her. She’s so grown up and the others are still “babes”.
My middle daughter has some food and environmental allergies that sometimes means our whole family just misses out on stuff like… peanut-butter pie… because I just can’t chance it being around and her wanting a taste or being sad that she can’t have it. And she’s trying to grow up as quickly as her big sister, but she really isn’t there yet.
My third… a whirlwind of a girl. She plunges head-long into EVERYTHING she does. She has gusto! 🙂 And thinks very little, if ever, before acting. But her little heart is so tender and pliable, I must be restrained when calling a warning at her to not sit on her brother, or some other situation that could cause harm to one or multiple people. lol. She will just loose it, and the whole situation will disintegrate before our eyes.
My youngest is a boy. After 3 girls we have a boy. ‘Nuff said.
To those with more children, I am not trying to ‘prove’ my life is as hard or harder than yours… just stating some observations. 🙂
And then, my husband needs a WIFE, not a mother {he already has an awesome mother!}. And apart from “child of God”-which is my identity at its core- this is where I find my primary role in life – to be the best wife for him. If I’m an awesome mom and a lousy wife, I’ve not become what God created me to be!
And I do have a few friends… who like to speak to me as adult in my own right, not as a mother or a wife….
And so, maybe this is a little bit to be encouraging spiritually
… I need God! You need God! 🙂
If God does not help us in relating to all the most important people in our lives, we are a people most undone!
If I cannot be Christlike to my own family, how can I expect those outside my family to see Christ in me?
I’m not saying I loose it every day, but there is at least a portion of most days where I struggle really hard not to! And there have even been a few hours all strung together that I feel I {MIGHT} have it all together–HAHAHAHA. nope. not really!
And only bending my knee before His throne will help me be “ME”–a child of God–to those around me, whether I feel SPLIT or not. 🙂
